I Hope You Find Peace In His Absence
RomanceUnrequited Love

I Hope You Find Peace In His Absence

I hope you find a sense of peace within yourself even through things that don’t make sense right now. When closure has to come from within and when answers don’t arise no matter how many times you change the question. I hope you find a sense of peace within yourself, knowing you are enough that there wasn’t anything you could have changed or done differently, that when they are the right people there is no wrong but only working through things you can improve on together and not giving up.

I hope you find peace in late nights because I know what it’s like to sit up at night analyzing the past but nothing about doing that can change the present. So do what you have to, to sleep through the night so you aren’t tired when you wake up even though I know how much it hurts to wake up alone wishing he was still next to you.

I hope you find peace in knowing sometimes the right people come at the wrong time but it isn’t your job to wait and sometimes the wrong people come at the right time when you’re ready for love and the truth is who ever would have been the next to walk through the door would have gotten your heart. And that’s okay because it takes a lot to be the kind of person ready and open for love. But now isn’t the time to close yourself off to it. Now isn’t the time to build up those walls even though it’s you that is breaking behind them. Now isn’t the time to deem yourself unlovable because when you give your whole heart to someone and you love them fully and they aren’t able to reciprocate that, it has nothing to do with you and everything to do with where they are mentally and emotionally.

I hope you find yourself again in all this chaos and heartbreak. I hope you fall back into the things you love about life and not just the part of your life you loved someone. I hope you learn to like walking alone and realize you don’t have to be lonely doing so. I hope you learn to go out again and smile like you mean it and enjoy a night out because you deserve to be happy. I hope you pick up on whatever it is that made you, you before him. I hope you take time to remember who that was and be you again because a single relationship has never defined you. I hope you learn to love yourself again and not fixate on your flaws and the parts of you he didn’t like. Above everything else in this, if you must fall in love again, I hope it is with the person looking back at you in the mirror because that is who needs love most right now.

I hope you find peace in his absence. Find understanding even though it doesn’t’ make sense right now. Find forgiveness even when the words sorry aren’t said. Find joy in the good parts of life because you deserve it. And find you again.

I hope when you cross paths again because it’s going to happen at some point or another, you get yourself to a point where you’re standing tall and confident and in that moment you realize why it had to happen that way. I hope you walk away smiling not because he lost something great (yes he did) but because you gained something better and none of those things whatever that looks like could have happened had he not walked away when you loved him most and wanted him to stay.

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Kirsten is the author of But Before You Leave, a book of poetry about the experiences we struggle to put into words. Follow Kirsten on Instagram or read more articles from Kirsten on Thought Catalog.