25 Things Real Men Still Do

Couple
Twenty 20

To those who say chivalry is dead or my expectations are high and unrealistic for this generation. I still hold onto hope that maybe some hopeless romantic will meet me halfway.

Because I don’t get excited over a text that they answered immediately. I don’t think much of a like on instagram. I don’t buy into dating games and using social media as a pawn to play them.

I choose to not play games because anything real and honest and worth having takes a little more effort than the immediate gratification so many people are used to today.

1. Holding open your door.

This is first thing I notice about anyone.

2. Pulling out your chair.

3. Letting her order first.

Ladies first.

4. Dressing well.

The way you dress shows both respect for yourself and the person you are seeing.

5. Not eating everything on your plate.

6. Not getting too drunk.

If you have to be drunk to have fun with someone that’s no foundation for any relationship.

7. Not looking at their phone.

When I’m on a date I won’t look at my phone you don’t look at yours. And if I have to I’ll apologize and explain why.

8. Making eye contact.

9. Listening and remembering what you say.

It’s about the little details as you might be talking too much and he’s listening taking notes.

10. Not bad mouthing exes.

It’s all about what they say about someone who might have hurt them or done them wrong. And even if they have a strong opinion on the person, they don’t share it.

11. Standing up when you leave or return from the table.

12. Walking on the outside of the sidewalk.

I know this is so unheard of.

13. Sharing their umbrella.

My roommate in college married her boyfriend and it all began because she forgot her umbrella.

14. Giving you their jacket.

Sometimes girls aren’t even cold they just want to see you do that.

15. Paying.

I don’t care how highly criticized this point might be, guys paying is form of respect. Do I walk into every date ‘forgetting my wallet’ on purpose? No. But I look twice at the person who doesn’t let me think twice about it paying.

16. Picking you up and driving you home.

It’s not a text of meet me here. If he wants to see you he’ll come get you.

17. Meeting your parents.

He’ll want to meet your parents.

*Bonus points if he brings something to your mom.

18. Walking you to the door.

He’ll walk you to the door and not expect to be invited it.

19. Actually calling after a date.

He’s not going to make you wait by his phone.

20. Planning ahead. And putting thought into the dates.

It’s letting someone take control of the situation and knowing with confidence they aren’t going to flake out or cancel.

21. Sending flowers.

*Brownie points if you send her chocolate when she’s sick

22. Asking you to slow dance.

Because as much as any guy might claim they don’t care about things that are sappy, if it makes you smile, he’ll do it.

23. Texts in the morning.

There isn’t a girl who doesn’t like waking up to a text message. Because it isn’t just a text.

24. Telling you, you’re beautiful with sincerity.

It’s the genuine compliments you can tell in their voice is said with sincerity.

25. Looking forward to introducing you to his family.

Maybe that’s something that scares boys but men are proud of the women they choose and they want their family to know it. TC mark

Kirsten Corley

Kirsten is the author of But Before You Leave, a book of poetry about the experiences we struggle to put into words.

Trace the scars life has left you. It will remind you that at one point, you fought for something. You believed.

“You are the only person who gets to decide if you are happy or not—do not put your happiness into the hands of other people. Do not make it contingent on their acceptance of you or their feelings for you. At the end of the day, it doesn’t matter if someone dislikes you or if someone doesn’t want to be with you. All that matters is that you are happy with the person you are becoming. All that matters is that you like yourself, that you are proud of what you are putting out into the world. You are in charge of your joy, of your worth. You get to be your own validation. Please don’t ever forget that.” — Bianca Sparacino

Excerpted from The Strength In Our Scars by Bianca Sparacino.

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