Why The Beginning Stages Of Relationships Are Toughest For People With Anxiety

I’m Not Going To Convince You To Love Me

Our love started unexpectedly and full of impact. We had an instant spark that made our hormones go all over the place. I was crazy about you and you were all I was thinking about. Literally. I neglected myself by adjusting my schedule around yours so I could spend more time with you. I would feel restless when you didn’t give me attention and I would doubt myself when you forgot to kiss me goodbye. You have no idea how much it has affected the way I viewed myself.

Anything you did or didn’t do made me doubt myself.

I was so infatuated that I couldn’t think straight anymore and my fear of losing you grew stronger each passing day. I saw myself slowly changing to someone I no longer recognized nor respected. I became this controlling and possessive freak that did everything to convince you that I’m worthy of your time.

It’s not your fault, I only have myself to blame.

I shouldn’t and I’m not going to convince you to love me anymore.

I treated our love as something that I could have control over. I treated it as my own personal experiment and the worst part was that I convinced you to love me in a way that would make me feel better about myself. But it was never enough because it all comes down to the fact that I lack love towards myself.

The problem wasn’t you, it was me. I have pushed you away by demanding your love for me even though it was already there.

Love is not pushy or demanding.

I should have left it to flow naturally when our heartstrings were still connected to each other.

I was too busy convincing you to love me than to just enjoy the time we spent together.

I’m not going to convince you to love me anymore.

Loving someone shouldn’t feel forced. Instead, it will be the easiest thing to do when nothing else makes sense.

Being in love doesn’t mean constantly seeking for each other’s attention and feel insecure the minute we do our own thing.

I’m not going to convince you to love me.

It is wrong to depend on you to make me feel good about myself. It is and will always be my own responsibility. The only thing you did was to love me. The problem was that I didn’t know that because I was too busy convincing you that I’m worth loving.

That’s why I’m not going to convince you to love me. I am just going to let you love me. It should always be your own choice that comes deeply from your heart. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

About the author

Kimberley Chung

The girl who rambles through life