1. She doesn’t give a shit about the calories.
OHMIGOD. A black IPA has over 200 calories?! And she’s had THREE?! Well goddamn bring on the stair stepper! If she isn’t commenting on the calories in your vice of choice (I see you and your In & Out) you can keep the judgements to yourself about the caloric content of the drink in her hand. She’s not worried about it so you don’t need to worry about it. Leave it alone; it’s for your own good.
2. She’s here for a good a time.
A girl who can flop on the couch and one-handedly crack open a beer is a girl who just wants to hang. She’s not here for gossip or drama or freaking out because someone tagged her in a weird photo on Instagram. She doesn’t need to get drunk (all though she does know beer drunk is the happiest of all drunks) or get complicated with the garnishes on her glass. She just need a cold one in hand and some good conversation and she’s happy.
3. She’s not worried about appearing “ladylike.”
Oh I’m SORRY. Wiping Corona off of one’s chin and having a pint glass in front of you is “for the boys”? Well you can kindly fuck right off. When beer a girl’s drink of choice she’s saying, “I don’t care about being perceived as a girly-girl. This is just who I am.” She doesn’t care about what people think about her. She’s relatively low-maintence and is happy to stay that way.
4. Telling her about “all the different kinds” of beer is patronizing and annoying.
Thank you for assuming she doesn’t know what a porter is. She’s got it, and you look like a dick.
5. A lot of the time she’s down for whatever.
She’s very go-with-the-flow; more about the messy bun than the curling iron. She’s pretty content to do whatever’s on the docket so long as it’s fun and she won’t be bored. She isn’t the kind of girl you have to worry about keeping endlessly entertained. If she didn’t want to be there, she wouldn’t be.
6. But just because she’s chill doesn’t mean she won’t have opinions.
That being said just because most of the time she’s cool with whatever, doesn’t mean you’ll always get a “yes” out of her. Sometimes she won’t be cool with going to a certain bar, a specific party, or going with to hang out with a particular group of friends. This doesn’t make her “less chill” or “crazy”; it makes her a human.
7. Someday she’ll probably burp and it will shake the foundation of your home.
Hazard of the hops. Consider the carbonation. Basically…blame it on the beer.
8. A love of beer doesn’t necessarily mean a love of sports.
That would be like assuming that because you’ve ever sipped a vodka cran in your life, you are all about Sex and the City. Just because she’s all about that brew doesn’t mean she’s all about that baseball. Or basketball. Or any ball. The two don’t have together, that’s all I’m saying.
9. You can always count on her to take care of herself.
Whether it’s with getting her own coffee and Tylenol if she’s hungover, or bring her own growler to whatever party you’re attending, you never have to worry about babying a beer drinker. She’s the kind of girl who is independent and self-sufficient. Always ready to rally, and consequently pick up the pieces should things kind of fall apart.
10. She appreciates the simple things in life.
You show me a girl who loves beer and I’ll show you a girl who’s content with floating down a river with a cooler and some sunblock on ice. She knows that the best memories and the best times come from people, and not extravagant plans. She’ll never be high maintenance and you’ll never have to worrying about “one upping” your last activity or gift. She just wants you and some laughs, and that’s enough.
11. Yes, she knows how to shotgun.
All she needs is a key and a challenge.
12. She isn’t here for society’s, or honestly anyone’s expectations of her.
She just wants to do her thing. She doesn’t care that the waitress always puts the martini in front of her and the ale in front of you, and then you guys end up switching drinks to make it right. She doesn’t care that no one else will touch her mixed pack of pilsners at girl’s night. She’s just being herself, and she’s not worried about how anyone sees it.
13. She isn’t interested in sleeping with her drinking buddies.
Just because she has a group of guys (or girls) that she regularly gets pitchers with doesn’t mean there’s anything else there. Honestly, you need to stop being insecure.
14. All she needs on a bad day is a six pack and for you to be there.
Just don’t assume what she wants is Blue Moon. Not every girl is obsessed with Blue Moon.
15. She isn’t worried about who can drink more.
But that’s not going to stop her from trying to put your ass under the table if you put a 30 rack in front of her. She may lose, but no one ever broke a record without trying. Cheers.