Stop Seeking Closure, Seek This Instead

There are many times relationships end and we are left empty. We build all our hopes in dreams around a person we thought would be around for an eternity. So when they leave, we start to wonder where it all went wrong.

I remember when a relationship would end and I’d always want to get clarity on why it ended. I’d be so confused as to what happened or what I could have done differently I’d literally give myself a headache. So, I’d seek out closure from the guy I was with and most times, I’d be more confused than before.

As human beings, it’s common to wonder why. It’s a question we’ve been asking since we were toddlers. But sometimes there is no why and you have to be okay with that.

Because many times when we ask for closure, the guy doesn’t tell us the truth. He won’t tell the truth because he thinks he’s sparing your feelings. Sometimes he may not even know why himself.

Other times when we seek closure a guy just tells us what we want to hear. He’ll give a vague answer that’ll leave room to make you feel like there’s a chance you’ll get back together. And instead of moving on, your there holding out on something that won’t ever happen.

If we’re being honest with ourselves, the biggest reason why we think we need closure is because apart of us still wants to be with that person. You think if you talk one last time they’ll still be sparks and you’ll pick up where they left off. But everyone is in you life for a reason and a season. And when the season’s over we have to keep moving as much as it may hurt us.

Personally I don’t think that you need to ask the other person for closure. The answer you’re looking for is right in front of you.

When relationships don’t work out it sucks, especially if you really had feelings for the other person, but just think of it as being one step closer to being with who you’re meant to be with.

Closure is you simply taking the time to recognize the relationship for what it is. Appreciate the good times you shared with that person and learn from the negative to know what you want to avoid in the future. So before you unblock that toxic ex to send that long paragraph don’t do it. The closure you seek is within you.

Graduate student, Writer and Lifestyle Blogger.

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