Forgetting Is The Hardest Part Of Moving On

Forgetting Is The Hardest Part Of Moving On
Ariel Lustre

I wish I could forget you as easily as you have forgotten me. I wish I could ignore you and carry on with my daily life without any thoughts of you. I wish I could wake up every morning without you being the first thought on my mind.

I would love to go through an entire day without wanting to share any of it with you. All of the funny things that I used to share only with you, no longer have an audience. I wish going to sleep didnโ€™t lead to dreams of you and the disappointment pang that comes with waking up to reality.

I wish I could spend my weekends doing all of the things we talked about doing together, without any regard for your absence. I wish I could I carefully craft happy photos to post publicly for the world to see just how genuinely happy I am without you. I wish I could ignore the stabbing pain that comes along with hearing your name, since you are asked about daily.

I wish I could go home at night and not wonder about your day or if youโ€™re doing well. I wish avoiding you would make me feel better instead of worse. I wish forgetting your place in my life was as easy for me as it has been for you. I wish walking away wouldโ€™ve been my decision instead of yours. I shouldโ€™ve seen all along that I was way more invested than you. Why did I think I was going to be any different than the rest?

As much as I wish I could forget you, I donโ€™t regret your presence in my life. Even if I cared more about our relationship than you did, Iโ€™m happy I believed that the feelings were mutual even if it was a lie. I am glad that I got to experience the pure joy that came with thinking we had something wonderful. You made me believe in the possibility to love again, even when love seems impossible.

Iโ€™m thankful for you, despite your purposeful intention to hurt me and bring me additional pain. You know better than anyone that Iโ€™ve suffered enough. You have no reason to continue trying to hurt me, but you enjoy it. I wish I was cold enough to do the same to you. People who intentionally hurt others are hurting themselves. You may seem heartless, but I know your heart is huge for those you care about deeply.

Unfortunately for me, I wasnโ€™t one of those chosen few. TC mark

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