Katie Mather

He still flirts with you, no matter how long you’ve been together. The flirting thing used to be really cute, but why can’t you remember who he voted for? Does anyone else just feel like crying all the time now?

I spent two weeks without any alcohol—and my head stopped hurting in the morning and I didn’t throw up in any kitchen sinks and I didn’t have to make any phone calls to apologize and I didn’t eat a spring roll while sitting on the floor of my shower and I didn’t ever at all think it was an appropriate idea to FaceTime the guy I used to like three times at 3:34AM. I just felt fine.

I think about how she smiles without her teeth in all of her pictures and you used to make fun of me for how loud my laugh is, which just shows how fundamentally different the reasons for why anyone would and should be interested in either of us are.

Your apartment had a very distinct smell that I remember almost crying over during our last day sitting around on that super shitty couch (remember how the back of the couch was broken?) and you were taking post-its off the wall and I felt like my head was blowing up like a balloon because of how hard I was keeping it all together.

I do not believe in signs or stars aligning or fate or whatever, but when I came back from California, my other friend was filling me in on her sort-of-ex’s actions from the 10 days I was gone. And instead of suggesting we curse him or something, I just blurted out: “Oh my god, that’s what I do to other people too.”

Someone told me recently that the lack of oxygen on airplanes makes it easier to cry, so maybe that’s why I’m more of a nightmare while flying. When I got to my seat—18C, aisle seat always, near the exit row because I’m a control freak—I knew this flight was going to be particularly rough because I had A LOT I didn’t want to think about.

Towards The End, I was entirely silent, and I can’t tell if that’s a fault of my overall character or telling of how numb I was to everything that was happening.

Hello there, generic internet audience. It is I, a generic 20-something writer living in New York City, here to bestow upon you some generic advice about love and dating and relationships (sup Jake, are you still checking in on me?).

I still check his social media!!! Even though we don’t talk!!! I still get butterflies when there’s something new!!! What the FUCK!!!

There is nothing men fear more than the hot girl’s friend coming over to join the conversation. It is the universal code for Game Over.

The warmth and satisfaction that comes from finishing a serious, emotionally-draining, and vulnerable conversation—especially late at night and especially if not pre-planned.

It happens to everyone. You’re in the middle of reading something on your lunch break and your heart sinks. Is this another millennial think piece on ‘Girls’?!?????

I developed good habits that really worked for me and as time went on I felt more and more fulfilled by my grown-up existence.

I have no idea where it comes from. Aren’t clothes supposed to be a reflection of who you are? Or who you think you are? Oh no.

I’m just one of the guys, but in the body of a really hot girl.

We’d wander around the aisles at 10pm and almost always forget to buy the things he said he needed to get in the first place.

You’ve officially been assigned into the Cute Girl Category. We know you applied for the Sexy Category, but after a panel of qualified straight men examined your portfolio and read your personal statement, we decided that you definitely have more potential to be Cute rather than Sexy.

There is something really terrifying to me about the moments right before you fall asleep and I wonder if Regular People feel that way too.