Thank You For Noticing That, Yes, I Am A Cool Girl

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Forgetting Sarah Marshall

You can break up with your regular girlfriend now! Because it’s me, the Cool Girl you’ve been looking for. And boy are you impressed with the fact that I mold my personality around exactly what you like and ALSO have a super hot body.

I’m so flattered that you noticed immediately that I’m not like other girls. I’m honored you say it as a compliment too. And I just love that it’s one of the things—if not the main thing!—you love about me. Regular Girls are just like, ugh, you know?

And I’m wearing a leather jacket at this bar, so it’s really nice of you to acknowledge how chill I am right off the bat.

Speaking of bats, do you like sports? I like sports to a level where I can hold my own in a conversation and totally make all your friends fall in love with me, but at the same time you can still feel the thrill of explaining certain things to me. I’m cool with it.

I’m not into dumb girly stuff like emotions. Haha, I’d rather die. I’m basically a robot—but, like, a hot one. And by that I mean I try very hard to completely suppress all of my feelings and my natural desires to become part of your life and require basic human respect from you. You could ignore me for days and I’ll still be down to eat a burger with you without mentioning it.

I hate salads, but my body looks like I only eat salads.

And I will totally let you play ‘Banana Pancakes’ on the guitar for me as I drink some of the whiskey you stole from your roommate. You’re so good at guitar. And, yeah, I only like whiskey. I don’t even wince when I drink it. I’ve also tried every beer in existence—which surprises a lot of people, because I’ve never been bloated in my life. I bet I can burp louder than you.

I’m just one of the guys, but in the body of a really hot girl.

I can’t stand the drama of hanging out with girls all the time, you know? Gossip is so boring! What do girls even do? I’d much rather lie around and have you describe to me how Reddit works or why my body should be regulated by the government. Let me watch you play video games. Let’s eat a ton of hot dogs and then not workout because I don’t need to (I naturally look like this, can you believe it?). Do you know how to play ‘Wonderwall’?

I’m a little bit of a slob, but it’s so charming to you! Not too messy where you’re grossed out, but messy enough where you immediately feel comfortable around me. I’m, like, an approachable and functional disaster. You’re impressed, but not threatened. How fucking cool. TC mark

Instagram Poet’s “3-Step Book” To Conquer Trauma

Depression is real. Anxiety is real. PTSD is real. ALL mental illnesses are real. Don’t believe anyone who is trying to tell you otherwise.

Every time I’m stressed I distract myself with doing something nice for someone else and it’s the best thing on this planet to watch someone’s eyes light up because they weren’t expecting something nice to happen.

Click here to learn about Nikita
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This is me letting you go

If there’s one thing we all need to stop doing, it’s waiting around for someone else to show up and change our lives. Just be the person you’ve been waiting for.

At the end of the day, you have two choices in love – one is to accept someone just as they are and the other is to walk away.

We owe it to ourselves to live the greatest life that we’re capable of living, even if that means that we have to be alone for a very long time.

“Everyone could use a book like this at some point in their life.” – Heather
Let go now
Thank You For Noticing That, Yes, I Am A Cool Girl is cataloged in