42 Things All Generic White People Love To Do

Rachael Crowe
Rachael Crowe

1. Redo their high fives.

2. Share links to 7 minute John Oliver clips or TED Talks on their Facebook and expect people to watch them.

3. Spend more time talking about smoking weed than the actual amount of time they smoke weed.

4. Discuss how much they love the idea of Europe.

5. Complain about gentrification but still willingly buy a $5 cup of coffee from the new place that just opened in Williamsburg.

6. Blog about their study abroad experience.

7. Have (and voice) opinions on IPAs.

8. Scream the “DUN DUN DUN” part of “Sweet Caroline” while drunk and sweating at a bar.

9. Repeat whatever 2-3 words they remember from high school Spanish whenever they can.

10. Wave to people on boats.

11. Hold lengthy conversations about which hard alcohols they can take shots of.

12. Find it kitschy and cute to grow your own food.

13. Talk about learning a second language, but never actually make that much of an effort to do it.

14. Wait in line for 5 hours for the new iPhone launch.

15. Feel guilty about not going outside when it’s really nice weather.

16. Make you feel guilty about not going outside when it’s really nice weather.

17. Honestly, always talking about the weather.

18. Especially if it’s humid.

19. Play icebreaker games as adults.

20. Troll people in the comments section of articles.

21. Use their middle name as their last name on social media.

22. Invest in a GoPro for mundane everyday activities.

23. Use said GoPro to film themselves eating a Ramen burger at a farmer’s market.

24. Or to document their trip to Cabo.

25. Take photos with a Polaroid camera and then take an iPhone photo of said polaroid and then edit it on Instagram.

26. Keep their ski lift tickets on their coats for the entirety of winter.

27. Make jokes about how much they love wine.

28. Eat Sushi with their bare hands.

29. And ask for a fork to eat rice.

30. Analyze dreams.

31. Say things like “fuck water.”

32. Have a strong opinion about Jimmy Fallon.

33. Talk about wanting to take a year off to travel or teach English somewhere or whatever.

34. Pretend they can fit into an American Apparel size small.

35. FaceTime their pets.

36. Sift through the travel sized item bins at Target.

37. Assign a name to their group of friends. Like, the Fab 5 or Bros N Bachelors. Ugh.

38. Go vegan for two weeks, only to break the streak by getting wasted and eating a Taco Bell Crunchwrap Supreme at 3am.

39. Be obsessed with female celebrities who admit they eat food.

40. Celebrate St. Patrick’s Day. Hard.

41. Take group photos and always demand to do “a silly one!” and then a staged candid one.

42. Post the results of BuzzFeed quizzes about what Disney princess their Patronus is. TC mark

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