Ah, the good old finger bang. It doesn’t show up on screen as often as say, sex or blow jobs, but when it does, BOY, does it make an entrance. Often violent and/or ominous, fingerbang scenes, probably for their rarity, lend themselves a certain salaciousness, and indeed the five on our list have become icons of the screen. Watch some of the most awkward, racy, and giggle-inducing fingerbang scenes in cinema after the jump. This is definitely and unequivocally, not safe for work, unless your work involves soft core porn, is ruthlessly sex positive or you’re just a giant pervert who doesn’t care if they’re caught watching women getting fingered from the comfort of your cubicle.
Fear (1996)
This is the most iconic finger bang scene of all time, period (no pun intended). You were probably a teenager the first time you saw this, and your parent and/or guardian probably fast-forwarded through this scene every time you watched it (Editor’s Note: Aunty Maree I’m looking at you). Now that you’re a grown up, watch it the way it was meant to be seen, and enjoy the ridiculousness of the climax as Reese Witherspoon’s pleasure synchronises with the direction and speed of the roller coaster. And never forget: don’t date boys who fingerbang you on roller coasters, they’re probably psychopathic.
Mad Men (Season2, Episode 3)
We’re still not convinced Don finger blasting Bobbie Barrett in season 2 began entirely consensually, although she seems sort of chuffed-ish when it ends. Back before Megan put Don in his place, he liked to use sex (and fingerbanging) to assert his power and masculinity. Now that’s totally Peggy’s zone. [Editor’s note: Embedding the scene has been disabled by request, click the screen cap to watch it at YouTube.]
A Love Song For Bobby Long (2004)
Scarlett Johansson knows what she wants and, uh, isn’t afraid to give direction.
Original Sin (2001)
Again, not entirely sure this began consensually, but it certainly ended with Angelia Jolie seeming to enjoy this awful man having his hand up her skirts and calling her a whore. Why can’t a woman simply enjoy a good hand job without a. having to be subdued into it and b. being punished for it? Seems like there’s some sort of anachronistic Noir femme fatale hangover presiding over the humble fingerbang. FREE THE FINGERBANG!
South Park (Season 4, Episode 8)
And on that note, we leave you with this: “I’m going to fingerbang bang you into my life.”