Thought Catalog

Sometimes, When It’s Raining

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Sometimes, when it’s raining, I think about you. I think about you all the way over there, with all that ocean and all those years between us. I think about if you’re doing well, what your bedroom looks like, if you enjoy your job. I think about the times when there wasn’t any ocean between us and my time was your time. I think about when I knew the answers about you, because they were my answers as much as they were yours. Sometimes, when it’s raining, I wonder if it’s raining where you are too.

Sometimes, when it’s raining, I pretend I’m kissing you. I pretend we’re lying in bed all morning with the grey half light and the patter of rain on the roof and the sloshing sound tires make on the bitumen as they speed by the window outside. I pretend you’re bringing me tea and we’re sitting side by side in bed reading the paper, you telling me the comics and me failing at Sudoku. I pretend we’re playing Quiz Master and we’re winning. Sometimes, when it’s raining, I close my eyes and pull the duvet over my face, and pretend you’re breathing by my side.

Sometimes, when it’s raining, I feel a little lonely. The grey sky reminds me so much of London’s sky, the greyness that enveloped us, even in the summer. I miss my friends, my family, you, especially when my feet are wet and I’m so far from home. I wonder if you’re thinking about me too, and I know you’re not, and I get to feeling so isolated and worn out. Sometimes, when it’s raining, I wish I really was alone, that I had nothing in the past, and only a moment to hide from the world while the sky releases madness.

Sometimes, when it’s raining, I listen to love songs. I plan my wedding and it’s not to you, even though I once thought it would be. I sashay across my room and concoct fantasy love stories in which someone falls for me, madly and passionately. Not the way that you did but in a way which would last forever with every conceivable grandness announcing its arrival. I think about falling in love again, and I promise myself I will, one day. Then I put that promise inside a box, and I put the box in my pocket. Sometimes, when it’s raining, I like to make believe.

Sometimes, when it’s raining, I begin to feel alive. I start to have those clichéd thoughts like “everything is washed away”. I think of you fondly, without remorse or longing, and decide that the rain will bring me a new beginning. My mind clears and I begin to see the future spanning before me, as I turn away from the past laid out behind. There are ways for me to say goodbye and when it’s raining, sometimes I say them all in whispers you’ll never hear. Sometimes, when it’s raining, I like to run outside in all my clothes, and let the water to soak through to my skin. TC mark

image – mxgirl85

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  • http://twitter.com/mung_beans Mung Beans

    ‘all those years’

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  • Anonymous

    sometimes, when it’s raining, do you ever fart?

    • Katgeorge

      every. single. time.

  • Sophia

    I felt like this was a little clichéd, but that might just be because I read so much ThoughtCatalog.

  • mookie

    i liked it. made me feel emotional and sad, in an embarrassing sort of way.

  • http://summerslowrunner.wordpress.com/ Summer

    Nothing but good things to say about this.

  • http://summerslowrunner.wordpress.com/ Summer

    Nothing but good things to say about this.

  • http://summerslowrunner.wordpress.com/ Summer

    Nothing but good things to say about this.

  • http://summerslowrunner.wordpress.com/ Summer

    Nothing but good things to say about this.

  • http://www.myperfectline.com/ WarmSunshine

    This made me cry. Seems like you’re saying my words for me…

  • http://www.twitter.com/mexifrida Frida

    isn’t it nice to imagine sometimes?

  • Henry

    Sometimes, when it’s raining, I think back to those times when I considered ending my life. I know that I made the right decision, but I don’t feel I have much to show for it.

  • http://www.facebook.com/nattusmith Natt Smith

    Love is one big cliche and it’s fucking awesome.

  • Anonymous
  • Pears

    This was phenomenal

  • Tom

    This was beautiful Kat. Keep up!

  • A.W

    classic kat george.

  • http://twitter.com/#!/angelamelamud Angela Melamud

    This was lovely. 

  • http://twitter.com/2lost2survive JCramps

    I can’t wait to one day see rain as a reason to wax nostalgic about past love instead of as a hindrance to encountering first love.

  • guesticles

    Boom.

  • Star

    Wow. Amazing how you can speak what my heart has been trying to say out loud. Thank you Ms. George.

  • Anonymous

    I wishI had written this Kat. You took the words my mind was thinking. :P

  • http://geekypony.blogspot.com Jeremy

    This is so relatable right now. Thanks so much Kat. You’re also a great writer!

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