Everyone has what is known as a “Lovemap.” First coined in 1980 by the famous American psychology professor, Dr. John Money, a person’s “Lovemap” is a subconscious list (we all carry around) of the particular traits, qualities and characteristics of our ideal future partner. Everyone’s Lovemap is unique to each individual. This is why we all fall in love with different people.
For example, the particular traits you will find attractive in a member of the opposite sex is as a direct result of your particular psychological makeup …which is in turn as a result of your own unique:
- Beliefs and values
- Childhood upbringing
- The kinds of friends you hang/hung around with
- Personal unmet needs and wants in life
As everyones beliefs and values are different, we all have different psychological make ups …which in turn mean we all have different Lovemaps. Which in turn means we all fall in love with different people.
This Lovemap Is CRUCIAL To Making Someone Fall In Love With You
In order to make someone fall in love with you, you need to uncover the unique way their personal Lovemap is made up, and then match yourself to it. I show how this is done in more detail in my book.
In this article, I want to show one particularly useful method for uncovering some core aspects of the Lovemap of the person you like …using deep questions to ask the person. Here’s how.
The best way to uncover someone’s Lovemap is to get them to start talking about it. Of course, no one is going to come out and start talking about their lovemap (as most people don’t even know what a Lovemap is …or indeed if they did, they wouldn’t discuss it with you because that is a personal thing).
But you can get the person to talk about their Lovemap in an indirect manner …all without them even realizing what they are doing. And this is one of the most powerful methods for quick relationship building with that person.
How do you do this?
The way we can do this is by slipping in questions into a conversation that are likely to elicit responses that will tell us more about that person’s upbringing, past experiences, values and beliefs etc …which are areas of conversation that will allow you to see the components of their Lovemap.
So whether you want to make a guy fall in love or a woman, these five deep questions will help you to unlock their Lovemap without them realizing what you are doing.
- Deep Question #1: What was the happiest time of your life?: This will directly lead to a conversation where they will essentially be talking about a thing (or things) from their past which they wish they had now. What you will be doing is in effect, uncovering an unmet need. And one of the best ways to match a person’s Lovemap, is to satisfy an unmet need in that person’s life.
- Deep Question #2: What’s the strangest thing you’ve ever done?: We are all conditioned to appear normal in society. This has been ingrained into us through evolution whereby if we didn’t fit in with society …we were alienated from it and our chances of survival out on our own would be difficult. Therefore, what a person does in their normal outwardly actions, often hide what’s really going on in their Lovemap. So if you can find out about something they’ve done out of the ordinary, it can be a useful tool to finding out more about the true components of that person’s Lovemap. If they once gave all the money they had to a homeless mother and child, it might show that this person is willing to suffer for the good of others …and subconsciously she would feel a connection with others who would have a similar mindset. You’d be surprised what you can uncover from this question.
- Deep Question #3: What did you enjoy most about your childhood?: This is a sure-fire question to get the ball rolling and get a woman to start talking about herself. She might not volunteer any particularly useful information at first, but she will definitely have something to talk about – and getting her to reveal info about herself should give you some good clues as to how to proceed to uncover her Lovemap.
- Deep Question #4: What do you like most about your job?: This question gets her to reveal what exactly turns her on and makes her excited. If she says she likes the fact that she gets to interact with members of the public and take care of them …then this will help you identify her quadrant in The Lovemap DISC …which is a key step to uncovering the specifications of a person’s Lovemap.
- Deep Question #5: What am I like in your mind?: This is a good question because they’re likely to reveal what they like about you, what they don’t like about you …and ideally both. This allows you to know what your particular strengths are in this person’s mind which you can then use to develop further to your advantage.
The Magic Wizard Method
I’m adding a 6th question here which I call the magic wizard method. This method is designed to get a person to open up more to you …but do so under the pretence of “playing a game”. To set this game up, learn off the following lines and insert it into your conversation with the person you like:
“Imagine that I’m a wizard with a staff in my hand that can make anything disappear – anything at all. Maybe it’s something that happened to you in the past, an annoying person you don’t like, or something in society you don’t like. Anything at all. What would it be?”
As you can see, this is a pretty deep question to ask someone you like and could potentially lead anywhere. I’m sure as you read those lines, you probably thought up of something in your own mind that you’d like to have erased from your life. And that exact thing is likely to give some important key information about your lovemap.
Because it’s said in the form of a game, it allows the person’s imagination to explore the things in their life that they don’t like and allows the person to be more willing to share this information than they otherwise would have been (it is just a game after all).
When you have this information, the techniques and methods in my book will show you how to best make use of this information to both unravel the components of their Lovemap …and then match it, inducing love in the person for you.
When you apply the information gathered from these questions, you will be building a direct connection in that person mind between things which are close to their heart …and you. But because you’ll be gathering the information indirectly …and then applying it indirectly, the person will begin feeling a connection with you but won’t know quiet why.
They’ll subconsciously wonder how are you matching them on such a deep level …and the natural conclusion the subconscious mind makes is to assume that they are falling in love with you and so the person will begin developing feelings of love for you.