When you are attracted to someone, it’s natural to battle the questions of infatuation vs. love. Is it really love you’re feeling for the person or are you’re just infatuated?
The reason why it’s difficult to understand infatuation vs love is because a lot of the feelings involved are similar. This is especially true in the:
- Attraction stage
- Dating stage
- And the early stages of a relationship
Although the beginnings of infatuation and love are quite the same, differences are bound to arise rapidly as the relationship develops.
6 Steps To Differentiate Between Infatuation & Love
While there’s no exact guideline in deciphering your feelings for another person, there are certain ways to differentiate infatuation and love. Follow these steps to help you see it clearer:
1. Analysis: Write down everything that you associate the person with or you feel strongly about. Examples are love, kissing, gorgeous, butterflies in your stomach, attractive, etc.
2. Color classification: Using different colors, classify each attribute as infatuation or love. For instance, you can circle an attribute using the color green if you think it’s more of an infatuation rather than love. Then use red to put a circle on an attribute which you think signifies love. Once done, look at what color dominates your list to find out if it’s love or infatuation. If it’s equal or almost equal, move on to the next steps.
3. Research and read literature on this topic: It can give you an idea on what love infatuation vs. love really is and what it’s not. Sometimes, infatuation can blind us and make us think that it’s really love. Reading about what true love really is can help you see through infatuation’s facade.
4. Let someone else evaluate your feelings: Ask your friends or someone who you think will give you an honest opinion. Tell them about your feelings for this person and get their view of whether it’s love or just an infatuation.
5. Hollywood: If it helps to read books, it also helps to watch movies which have lessons about love and infatuation. However, please be reminded that most movies are fiction. They portray a rather idealistic view of love rather than being realistic. So, don’t make your judgement rely solely on what you see in the movies but try and pick out the important lessons from them.
6. Do you dream about them? The more you dream about someone, the likely it is you are in love with them …rather than simply like them. Check out my article “What does it mean when you dream of someone you like?” for more information.
Remember, when it comes to infatuation or love…
The most important thing to remember is that if you’re unsure about your feelings, take things slowly. Give it some time and carefully evaluate your feelings.
Real love takes root slowly and it grows with time. On the contrary, infatuation immediately grows into full bloom and withers with time. Knowing that it’s love and not just an infatuation is good, but the relationship will still need work to make it flourish and grow.