1. Be good with children. (Or, if you’re not, at least don’t make a sneering comment about how much you hate them every time you see one.)
2. Be unafraid to laugh at yourself.
3. Unexpectedly have similar music to me on your iPod.
4. Treat women with respect, including your ex-girlfriend that you may not be so fond of.
5. Pick up coffee and/or breakfast goodies unexpectedly, as there is no better way to start a day than with something delicious in bed.
6. Take me to a pumpkin patch/corn maze/place where fruits or vegetables grow that we can walk around wearing cardigans and scarves.
7. Let me cuddle on you as we watch scary movies, squeezing perhaps slightly harder than I actually need to.
8. Lend me your sweater with the vague-and-absolutely-correct notion that I will be keeping it.
9. Love seeing me in your sweater.
10. Give up your seat for old ladies on public transportation.
11. Hold doors open for people — male or female — because it’s the right thing to do.
12. Participate in karaoke, even if you’re not the greatest singer in the world, because it’s a fun time and we should all be able to cut loose and make fools of ourselves from time to time.
13. Teach me about things you’re interested in.
14. When asked “Are you okay?” respond honestly, and not with a “fine” that I am expected to deconstruct for its actual meaning.
15. Smile warmly at me across a crowded room.
16. Remember my favorite drink. (Extra dirty Ketel One Martini, for those keeping score at home. [I know, I’m an asshole.])
17. Fuss over me about whether or not I’m hungry, and let me fuss over you.
18. Stroke my head while I lay on your chest (this is physical contact GOLD).
19. Don’t hog the remote. Be a remote Socialist. Communist, even.
20. Have a great appreciation for cuddling under a blanket while it rains outside.
21. Dance, without some ridiculous (and offensive) fear that someone is going to think it’s “gay.”
22. Work on a laptop in a coffee shop whilst looking unbearably sexy/be-sweatered. (I think most of the imaginary love stories I create in my head start by becoming mildly obsessed with the mussed-hair guy across from me in Starbucks, but I digress.)
23. If you are my barista, flirt with me even the slightest bit. (That shit is nothing short of foreplay for the caffeine-addicted/single.)
24. Be unequivocally pro-choice, gay marriage, and universal health care. (Sorry, hot college Republicans. I do love your blazers, though.)
25. Know the profound, near-philosophical importance of a good pea coat.
26. Go balls-to-the wall in your enjoyment of all things autumn, just as I do.
27. Have a serious appreciation for long walks around the city, watching the leaves change, wearing scarves, and stopping to get hot drinks.
28. Be willing to go antiquing.
29. Be a gorgeous man who works at the co-op at the vegetable stand.
30. Genuinely feel wholly unpretentious about the music/movies/books you enjoy.
31. Ride a bicycle whilst wearing an impeccable suit, also known as the Holy Grail of dapper gentleman activities.
32. Be Anthony Bourdain.