Johanna de Silentio

Con: ‘Art jokes’

There is a little Charlotte York sitting on my shoulder telling me guys lose respect for girls who enjoy sex.

1. Make their bed. 2. Own a pet or a child. 3. Have a stress-free conversation with the mechanic. 4. Have more than one set of sheets.

Automatically having the most exciting stories/life of most of your friends.

The better-looking the female is, the greater your unfounded hatred should be.

I feel sexy and feminine all the time, even without makeup or a cool outfit. It’s the best accessory and goes with everything.

However, being young and immature it wasn’t good enough for me to have a mutually not very fun experience. I texted him after the date and asked what had happened, since he’d been pretty aggressive prior to that. He responded that, on second thought, he didn’t find me that attractive.

Plato: I’m not good in bed, I’m The Good in bed.

You don’t love the idea of them moving on, but you’ve started talking about how miserable their next significant other will be as opposed to thinking you’re going to get back together…

Worry that your relationship lacks definition because you are vastly over-invested (you are) (this is the most clarity and insight you will have throughout this whole situation). Spend more time being concerned that things aren’t going to pan out the way you want them to than actually doing anything to cause them to pan out the way you want them to…

Men, the following is a guide for whether I would sleep with you, based on your shoes. Women, although I cannot presume you share my taste in men (and, apparently, Asics), the red flag shoes should be universal.