January Nelson

TAURUS: You should let go of your cynicism. You should let yourself believe in love again, let yourself believe in happiness again.

I’m single and your crush isn’t.

Sometimes it takes a lot of energy to do little things! Just because I’m not feeling up to it today doesn’t mean I’m lazy or unambitious or whatnot. Sometimes, I’m just drained mentally and emotionally.

Maybe you’ve seen it, or maybe you’ve been in it: the relationship that’s dramatic, explosive, unhealthy… and completely irresistible.

We notice a drop of blood by our feet. After close examination of ourselves we notice none of us are bleeding. We shined our flashlight further ahead and notice the blood continues into the darkness.

I’m hosting a charity event for people who have trouble ejaculating. If you can’t come let me know.

TAURUS: You are allowed to feel lonely. You are allowed to wish you had someone to kiss beneath the mistletoe. 

I recently started trying jello art, mostly because I love jello and it’s an easy side dish my toddlers and nieces and nephews will eat. The basic jello art kit (floral) is about $10 and jello mix or plain gelatin and flavorings are all VERY cheap. Then just add water!

Carpe diem isn’t about ignoring the future and going full YOLO, it’s about using your time now to prepare yourself for the future, because you can’t trust future happenings to chance.

Red light bonus round. We kiss when we stop at a red light.

The Good Son. Seeing Kevin McAllister go from young kid playing hijinks on a couple goofy robbers to some sadistic pre-teen who likes to kill animals with a homemade crossbow.

If they seem nice, I’ll appreciate it. If they seem creepy, I feel dirty and want to leave asap. It doesn’t matter if they’re ugly or not. I’ve had ridiculously good looking guys check me out and they were super creepy. And unattractive guys check me out, but they seemed nice so whatever. You can tell usually from intuition.

There is so much counterproductive advice circulating about what emotional healing is. 

I don’t believe in ghosts, and I certainly don’t believe in robot uprisings or any of that sci-fi crap, but something weird has been going on.

VIRGO: You should be thankful for your versatility. You can adapt to any situation. You can overcome any obstacle. 

‘Reasons to Stay Alive’ by Matt Haig. Genuinely heartwarming stuff, focusing not on how to ‘cure’ your mental illness, but how to love life in spite of it.

ARIES: You learned to show more appreciation for the people who support you — and to kick toxic people to the curb without feeling bad about the aftermath. 

LIBRA: They’re going to lose interest if you insist on keeping things casual and refuse to use a label.