30 Dick Moves That Will Make You Lose Friends And Stay Single

30 Dick Moves That Will Make You Lose Friends And Stay Single

If you pull any of these dick moves, Ask Reddit has a problem with you (and so will everyone else).

1. Making plans with someone and then telling them you can’t make it 30 minutes after the agreed upon time.

2. Being nonchalant or putting down somebody who excitedly tells you about their accomplishment or work or whatever.

3. Cheating. I don’t get how you can lie to someone you care about and then just be a human trash bag. If you cheat, you’re the lowest of the low.

4. Not waving, smiling, or saying hello to someone who just said hello to you first.

5. When people only come around or hit you up when they need something.

6. I’m not sure the word for it, but doing that thing where people always invalidate your feelings by one upping with their own… Like:

“You think your job is stressful? Try having my job.”

“You’re proud of something your kid did today? My kid did something even better last year.”

“You’re not feeling well? Well I’ve been sick for weeks and haven’t taken a single day off.”

7. Hitting on your friend’s romantic partner.

8. Putting your bag on the seat next to you in a busy train/subway/bus.

9. Ghosting someone in a relationship.

10. Not offering a tampon to a sister in need. It’s an internationally agreed rule. If she says, “Fuck,” in the bathroom, you ask if she needs one. Period.

11. Talking behind your back. Motherfucker, just say it to my face!!!

12. Asking someone who is not talking in a group conversation, “Why are you so quiet?”

13. Eating the last slice of pizza when you didn’t buy it.

14. Mentioning politics then saying you don’t want to discuss politics.

15. Talking on speakerphone in a very public place.

16. Making your friends look bad just so you can look cool in front of girls.

17. Littering. You’re fucking up our beautiful world, you lazy, disgusting, entitled brat.

18. Playing music so loud that your neighbors can hear it. Especially in the middle of the night.

19. When someone cuts in line.

20. Ditching your friend to hang out with someone else.

21. Trying to squeeze in behind a merging car and screwing up the zipper formation while merging.

22. Parking space theft when someone is clearly sitting there waiting for it.

23. Leaving a shopping cart in a parking space.

24. Treating waiters/waitresses like shit.

25. Sending dick pics not asked for.

26. Not cleaning up after yourself in communal places like public toilets. It’s really not that hard to pick up that toilet brush and send your sticky shit on its merry way.

27. Whistling to retail workers to get their attention.

28. Taking up two parking spaces. I mean, come on dude.

29. Swerving between different lanes without signaling so you can get to your destination faster.

30. Blocking a doorway or a path so someone has to try to squeeze past. It’s not a power move, it just makes them look like a dick. TC mark

About the author
January Nelson is a writer, editor, dreamer, and occasional exotic dancer and a collective pen name. Read more articles from January on Thought Catalog.

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