1. I made dinner and dropped it on the floor as I was serving it.
I was really upset, until she was like oh well, and scooped it up and started eating.
2. We spend the majority of our time at home doing our own separate things. We have two TVs in our living room so I’ll often be playing video games or watching podcasts while she watches Netflix or Youtube. We also spend a lot of time in our own separate study rooms where mine is for making music and and hers is for getting her career work done. I believe respecting each other’s needs to do things alone and not always needing to do things together every day is the single biggest reason we’ve lasted as long as we have and we just celebrated our 13 year anniversary.
3. I have crazy cat allergies and she has crazy dog allergies, but we take the meds and get the treatment so that we can have a cat for her and a dog (2 actually) for me.
4. My husband acted as the lone pallbearer for our newborn son’s funeral.
I carried him for nearly his whole life and my husband carried him to his final rest.
5. My wife and I came to understand that we can sleep apart for the sake of comfort and good rest, without it being an expression of emotional distance.
6. I was having a panic attack and he was in the bathroom. He called me in there because he could hear me sobbing uncontrollably. I went in (thinking he was brushing his teeth) and the man pulled me down onto his lap while he was pooping and held me while I was sobbing uncontrollably/hyperventilating/laughing the absurdity.
We are now engaged.
7. When I was pregnant AF my fiance shaved my legs and cut my toenails for me.
8. I didn’t have a job when we were first dating and he knew I was embarrassed that he had to pay my way for everything we did together. If we were meeting other people he would hand me cash before we got out of the car so I could pretend I was paying for myself.
9. A few weeks after we were married, my husband and I were laying in bed relaxing, and out of nowhere he picks my wedgie. We both froze, realized what he had done, and burst out laughing like crazy. I mean we’ve always been comfortable with each other but that was new.
10. I was on my way to get our kids from daycare after work one day and it was pouring. My husband took the time out of his workday to show up at the daycare and get the kids in my car for me so I wouldn’t have to get out in the rain. The little things are the big things. 10/10 would marry again and again and again and again
11. When had sex for the first time. We were each other’s firsts and it was probably the most painful thing I ever experienced and emotional. We didn’t use lube and trying to put a condom wrapped penis inside was very very painful. I started to whimper and cry. He went flaccid because we was concerned for how I was doing physically and mentally. He looked at me and said, “I am in no rush to do this. I’d much rather cuddle you right now and make you feel loved.” And that’s what we did.
12. When my husband and I first started dating, he had just bought a new car. His first new car. A few weeks in, my car broke down, and he let me borrow his when he went out of town. Literally an hour after I got this car, I scraped the side into a fucking cement pillar. Just scratched the ever loving shit out of it. I called him, crying, to tell him what happened. He asked, “are you ok? yes? Then everything is fine”. The car is still scratched to shit, 8 years later.
13. My wife likes squeezing black heads out of my back. At normal glance it doesn’t look like I have any, I can’t see them using a mirror. But it’s like a mission to her.
14. My husband asked me what position was best to knock me up. Not very romantic but it made my heart skip a little bit.
15. I had gone out for dinner with a friend and for probably the first time ever, did not tell my husband specifically where I was going.
Well my family found out my brother had killed himself and were trying to reach me but my phone was on silent in my purse. So my husband drove to every restaurant near the vague area I had mentioned to him until he found me and drove me to my parents. He was an amazing rock and helped me through everything with that whole situation. I don’t know where I’d be without him.
16. We both had to pee at the same time but only had one bathroom. So I sat down and moved forward and he peed in the gap behind me. He ended up peeing down my back cause the gap was too small. Sounds gross but we laughed about it then and laugh about it now.
17. I scratched an itch on my foot using his heel callus. He looked at me, asked if I really just did that, then we cackled til we had tears streaming down our faces.
18. We respected each other enough to take a break that lasted a year and a half.
We had been together for eight years and were having a really rough patch and didn’t want to be together, but didn’t want to be apart either. We still thought we should end up together, but during that time we didn’t deserve each other and it was toxic. I moved out but not super far away. At first we agreed to only talk once a week unless an important circumstances came up. We both went on 1-2 extremely failed dates even. After a few months we started flirting and laughing together again. Within six months we were back sleeping together on occasion. Within a year we were secretly dating because we didn’t want family or friends to have a bit of influence as to what was going on.
That time for ourselves allowed for personal growth that was 100% necessary in order for us to grow together. Full disclosure I was not on board with this in the beginning. I never gave up on us. I was willing to wait an eternity.
Within a year of being back together we got pregnant and married and this year we will celebrate all fifteen years “together” and we never forget to acknowledge our time “apart” because it was highly instrumental in our journey.
19. When I got my wisdom teeth out, my SO and I had only been dating for about a month. He insisted I stay at his place to recover and he even changed my bloody gauze packs in my mouth.
He definitely didn’t have to do that but thinking back it really makes me smile thinking of how he took care of me.
20. My boyfriend and I had been together for about 5 months, had been friends for years prior, and were living together because of it. So, all pretty serious, however we hadn’t said, “I love you” yet. One night we were getting frisky and I started moving downtown… I got about 3 seconds in before he chose that moment to say, “I think I might be in love with you.” Full seriousness, not because of the bj, he literally just had that feeling slam him in that moment (I think we’d just had a cute laugh or nice moment prior too). I tried to reply but I had a mouth full of dick so I just kind of made a strangled “OwwWWaarrhhhwww!” noise and the rest is history.
At face value, it doesn’t seem like the “right” time to tell someone you love them for the first time, but to me it genuinely was. It was SO UNROMANTIC that there’s no WAY it was insincere or just him trying to be slick or whatever. He just wanted to tell me so badly that even the completely unceremonious and inelegant situation of me giving him head didn’t stop him. He’s a keeper alright.
21. When she sneezes, I say, “shut the fuck up”
Usually she giggles afterwards. She’s now started saying, “shut the fuck up” to basically any bodily sound of mine, like a cough or even burp. But she then giggles after saying it, in that “I can’t believe I said something so mean” way.
22. I pooped while pushing my son out of me. Everyone told me I didn’t, even though I just knew. When we got home, he told me I did indeed poop. Very unromantic, but I know he will always tell me the truth.
23. We both got viscous food poisoning from Chipotle. We both had diarrhea and we were both vomiting for about ten hours straight. We had one bathroom. It was a damn nightmare. I won’t go too much into details because it was fucking gross but the fact we still wanted to have sex with each other once we recovered was a really good sign.
24. My SO puked in the parking lot on our first date. BEFORE we even got into the restaurant. I thought she was having second thoughts because she just got out of a horrible relationship. Nope, she was on her period and it was bad enough where she would puke.
We’re married now!
25. On our honeymoon we went snorkeling. I really had to pee. Most people are able to just pee in the water NBD but I’m a total weirdo. I can only pee on a toilet. As the trip goes on, I’m in increasing amounts of pain. I have to go so bad. I’m trying everything I can just to relax and pee. My husband then offers to tickle me. Out of sheer desperation, I said yes. He tickles me and I immediately start to pee. He lovingly tickled me upon request for the rest of the snorkeling excursion. I love this man.
26. This will be buried, but the guy I was dating for 3 months was at my house on a Sunday evening when I discovered that my cat had a poo problem. Impacted poop hole and diarrhea. I don’t know how that’s even possible. So I was worried and trying to figure out what to do. He helped me wash her butt (fluffy cat – super gross), and then he took her to the vet on his day off while I was working. About a year later, I married his ass.
27. I’m preggers, so my husband has taken up litterbox duties without complaint. We have 5 litter boxes.
28. I gave my wife a kidney.
29. I wax my SOs butt crack regularly. He says it helps him poop better. Nothin like sticking hot wax on his booty hole while he’s in the position to give birth.
30. I like my pubes to be trimmed very closely/shaved.
Husband will “perform surgery” on me to remove my occasional ingrown hairs. Sometimes they become whiteheads he will pop as well.
Sometimes this leads to fun times.
31. Wife was pregnant and near the end of it. Her belly button was really close to becoming an outie and she couldn’t see it. I made a comment about how it looked like there was some gunk inside of it so she asked me to clean it out. Spent the next few minutes with tweezers cleaning out her belly button.
32. He stayed. Through active alcohol addiction, and through my sobriety.
33. I had an ingrown hair that got really infected in my crotch. (Male to the left of my stuff) had to go get it drained and treated in the ER after pain didn’t go away. Got worse next day went back to ER got admitted and the had to do surgery to clean all the puss out. It was about a three inch gash that was about one inch deep. They don’t stitch infected wounds cause they want them to heel from the inside out as to not trap any residual infection. So they kept me about a week and daily they would have to come in and remove the cause that was stuffed in there rinse it out and re stuff it. After a week I got released and had to go to wound care daily. Then they changed it to every other day and my wife had to change it on the off days and she never hesitated or acted grossed out. She just did it and never complained. It was extremely painful btw.
34. I had a huge, painful pimple inside my ear that I couldn’t pop by myself, especially without being able to see it. He used Q-tips to pop it for me, and it shot pimple juice onto his face. But he was cool about it!
35. I built my wife a garden box in the back yard for her birthday last year. She’s been having trouble growing a big variety of vegetables but peppers seem to grow pretty well. I just ate a ghost pepper (well about 1/3rd of a pepper) she grew to cheer her up about it.
36. My then-boyfriend spent an evening with me trying to give one of my cats a pill. He’s a difficult, headstrong bastard of a cat to pill so the whole process took well over an hour, even with the two of us humans working together. That convinced me said boyfriend was the one and we’ve now been married over 5 years. We still have the cat, he sleeps between us every night.
37. Helped me with my underwear after my c section. I went to the bathroom, they fell to around my ankles and I couldn’t get them. He helped me with it with no hesitation.
38. My car broke down on my way to work. She had been on unpaid leave after the birth of our child about a month prior and we were almost completely broke. She packed up our newborn and 4 year old, picked me up and drove me to work, diagnosed the problem as a failed alternator, pulled it, picked up a replacement and installed it, picked me up from work and dropped me off at a perfectly running car.
39. My beloved saw my gizzards being taken out during the C section of our daughter. That’s my sticking point.
40. This will probably get buried, but whatever.
About 2 months into my relationship with my husband, my cat that I had adopted a month before had to be put down. She was my very first “on my own” pet and my first cat because my sister was incredibly allergic, so I had to wait until I moved out to get one.
I was incredibly devastated. He was with me every step of the way. He stayed in the room with me while I held my cat and she was put to sleep. He drove me to get food at 3 am by the time the whole ordeal was over. He stayed up with me all night. It was a surreal night, but he helped me feel normal. That’s when I knew he was the one for me.
41. I aimed for him when he was too drunk to do it himself. He had to tell me more than once to stop squeezing.
42. One time, just six months into dating and after sex, my now husband pulled his knees to his chest and let out a horrendous fart. Naked.
43. I fell down some steps and broke both my arms. My husband wiped my butt and helped me shower/wash my hair… for weeks. For better or worse, that was definitely filed under worse.
44. Man all of these are like medical conditions and crazy stuff like that.. One time my girlfriend just said she wanted to see me but didn’t wanna talk to anybody after a rough day at work. So she came to my house and sat in my bed with me while I played video games until we both fell asleep. Didn’t say a word other than “hey” when she got there, and “Alright, bed. Love you.”
45. My wife passes out. A lot. It has to do with a medical condition she has, but it can happen at almost anytime. I’ve become so good at recognizing how she feels that I know when she’s going to go before she does, and I’ve gotten very good at catching her. It may look unromantic, and it can be. But her knowing I’m there, and me recognizing her signs are a big thing for us.
46. I got black out drunk, puked all over my then boyfriend (now husband) restroom and bedroom.
Woke up to fresh clothes. He explained everything that happened after me begging him to tell me. Apparently, I started trying to exorcise demons out of him and just projectile vomited everywhere. He managed to get me drink some water, bathe me, get me to bed, and then deep clean the room and restroom.
I was so embarrassed after.
47. She was so sick that she was laying on the floor shitting herself and puking on herself. I carried her to the bathroom and bathed her then put her to bed. I then cleaned up the mess…
48. My wife was battling cancer and couldn’t poop from all the medication she was given. So I had to give her a suppository. Once it took effect, I had to stay in the bathroom and watch her because she thought she might pass out. True love.
49. I donated a kidney to him. Then when his wound wouldn’t close four weeks later, I packed and dressed it twice a day while trying not to make it obvious that the smell was making me gag. You do what you gotta do!
50. Definitely pranking each other thoroughly.
I spent a little more than a year randomly sending him emails from a man named “Nolan.” He works in customer service and I made the most ridiculous case for him to solve involving a balloon business. Once in a while, during a slow time at my job, good old Nolan would email him. Last message was about Nolan asking the hubs to join him in a doomsday bunker…
I finally decided to tell him the truth on our anniversary, which is on April 1st.
He got me back this Christmas. He anonymously sent me a super low-rent Chevy Chase coloring book. I greatly dislike Chevy Chase, to put it mildly. He enjoyed me plotting revenge against my friends, and even egged me on. He finally admitted the truth on New Year’s Eve.
I plan to retaliate in the near future.