Holly Riordan

It’s okay to move slowly. It’s okay if you need some time before trusting someone new when the last person shattered your heart. It’s okay if you aren’t ready to be so vulnerable again so soon.

You should be able to tell your forever person when you feel on the verge of breaking down. Or when you feel too overwhelmed to put anything else on your plate. You should be able to tell your forever person what is going on inside of you, because sometimes, appearances lie. Sometimes, even the people closest to us can’t see what we’re going through — not unless we let them see. Not unless we choose to be honest. Not unless we let down our guards completely.

You aren’t going to get any better if you stubbornly stay in this place you’ve been calling your comfort zone even though you aren’t really comfortable at all. 

You need to hold out for someone who shares responsibilities with you. Someone who helps you out when they see how much pressure you’ve been under, how much stress has been weighing you down.

Sometimes, being single really is for the best, because your heart is in the process of healing. Because you’re putting your energy toward working on yourself. Because you’re trying to get yourself back into a good, healthy place.

It’s hard to accept the connection you’ve built is only temporary.

A lack of effort will make your person feel unloved, unwanted, unappreciated.

You can’t stop yourself from thinking about him — but you can stop yourself from texting him.

You shouldn’t have been an asshole to someone you expected to stay. 

Make her coffee to drink as soon as she wakes up.

Play the big spoon some nights — and the little spoon other nights. 

You cannot start arguments about how they clearly don’t give a shit about you, simply because they aren’t showing you affection in the specific way you prefer affection.

You aren’t sure whether you’re completely wasting your time on this person or whether they simply need a little nudge. You aren’t sure whether you’re fighting for something worthwhile or something wasteful. You aren’t sure whether your heart has the right idea or whether you should start the healing process.

The thing about toxic relationships is that you’re not going to leave them the same way you entered them. You’re not going to be the same carefree, fun-loving person. You’re going to be less trusting, less adventurous, less open. 

Reminding yourself why you left when you’re feeling lonely is the hard part. Convincing yourself you did the right thing, even though you feel like you’re falling apart inside, is the hard part. 

It’s so much easier to let yourself fall apart than it is to piece yourself back together again, to pull yourself off the ground, to feel whole. Complete. At peace. 

You have to remind yourself that you’re strong enough to get through this, strong enough to make it until tomorrow, and strong enough to make it until the day after that.

In 2020, wear your heart on your sleeve. Speak authentically. Love loudly.