Love Is Supposed To Be Messy

Love Is Supposed To Be Messy AF

Love isn’t supposed to be the answer to all of your problems. Getting into a relationship isn’t going to magically make you happy. It might make you happier, but it won’t make the rest of your issues disappear. You still need to put effort into yourself. You still need to work on healing and growing and thriving as an individual. You don’t want to forget about yourself once you’re in a relationship because you’re too busy worrying about your partner. There’s enough room to care about you both.

Love isn’t supposed to be easy one-hundred percent of the time. There are going to be problems. There are going to be arguments. Fighting isn’t an indication that something is wrong with the relationship — but the way you handle the fights could be an indication you’re in trouble. You shouldn’t be screaming at each other, trying to get a word in. You shouldn’t be biting your tongue, afraid to tell them the truth about how you’re feeling, either. However, if you’re treating each other with compassion and respect, even when you aren’t seeing eye-to-eye on something, then you’re on the right path.

Love isn’t supposed to be the only thing bringing you joy in life. Your person isn’t in charge of your happiness. They shouldn’t be the only thing bringing a smile to your face. They should be a big part of why you enjoy waking up every morning, but they shouldn’t be the only reason you’re excited. You should have other things that bring you happiness, whether that’s a career or a friendship or a hobby or a combination of the three.

Love isn’t supposed to be reserved for two perfect people. You’re going to have ups and downs with your partner. You’re going to disagree on little things from time to time — and that’s okay. You aren’t supposed to have the exact same interests and get along swimmingly one-hundred percent of the time. You can have different tastes and still be compatible. You can disagree and still form a strong bond. As long as your morals and standards and dreams for the future align, then there’s nothing wrong with being two completely different types of people.

Love isn’t supposed to make you stressed. Sometimes, you’re going to go through rough patches, but your whole relationship shouldn’t be a rough patch. You shouldn’t feel uncomfortable whenever your partner walks into the room. They shouldn’t make you nervous in a bad way. Overall, spending time with them should be a pleasant experience. It should be something that excites you, not something you dread.

Love isn’t supposed to be perfect. Love is messy. Love is hard. Love will require an immense amount of effort, not only in the beginning of the relationship, but throughout the entire relationship. You can’t get lazy with each other once you grow used to each other. You can’t neglect each other because you assume you’re never going to leave each other. You need to work hard. You need to act present. You need to show them you haven’t lost your spark, you haven’t stopped caring about them, you haven’t changed your mind.

Love, real love, is never perfect. But it’s perfect for you. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

Holly is the author of Severe(d): A Creepy Poetry Collection.

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