Without closure, it’s hard to accept that a relationship is over. It’s hard to accept that this person is out of your life for good. It’s hard to accept that it’s time for you to move on and leave the past in the past.
Without closure, it’s hard to move on from the person you had your heart set on staying with, because there’s a voice in the back of your mind reminding you that it might not really be over. They might come back. They might return someday soon. After all, you didn’t leave things off right. You didn’t give any real goodbyes. This couldn’t have been the end. There could still be a chance for you two.
Without closure, it’s hard to move on, because there are still so many things you have left to say to this person. There are a million things you wanted to admit to them, explain to them, clear up for them. Even worse, there are so many questions that have been left unanswered. You don’t understand why the relationship ended. You don’t understand why they treated you the way they treated you. Maybe if you understood it would be easier to deal with the pain. You feel like you’re missing out on important conversations that should’ve been had, pivotal moments that could’ve made moving on so much easier.
Without closure, it’s hard to move on, because you’re not sure whether you did anything wrong. You’re not sure whether you were getting played from the beginning. You’re not sure whether there’s something you should be doing differently in the future or certain red flags you should keep your eye out for when you’re ready to date again. You are at a loss. You are completely and utterly confused. And quite frankly, you feel silly. You feel like you must be the one who cares more, the one who is mourning the breakup while your person has already made peace with it.
Without closure, it’s hard to move on, because social media keeps you connected by a loose string. You can’t completely forget about this person and move on with your life because they keep popping up on your feed. Instead, you turn into a detective, trying to piece together different clues on your own. And usually, that only makes your heartache worse. That only makes you play out worst case scenarios about where it all went wrong.
Without closure, it’s hard to move on, but that doesn’t necessarily mean you should contact the person who hurt you. It doesn’t mean you need to let them back into your world again so you can sit them down for a conversation and receive answers. After all, there’s no guarantee they are going to give you the truth. There is no guarantee they are going to clear up the questions that have been bothering you. Even if they do clear up some things, it might not make it any easier to say goodbye to them. It could make it harder, because you’ve let them back in, because you’ve seen them again, because you’ve reminded yourself of why you loved them so much in the first place.
Without closure, it’s hard to move on, but sometimes it’s just as hard if you do get closure.