When you’re upset with yourself, don’t lash out on the person closest to you. Don’t turn them into a punching bag because you aren’t sure how else to deal with your pain. Don’t treat them like the bad guy when they haven’t done anything wrong.
When you’re upset with yourself, don’t take it out on your partner. Don’t turn every situation around to pin the blame on them. Don’t assume they’re the reason for your unhappiness when it has absolutely nothing to do with them, when they’re the only bright spot in your week, when your pain is internal.
Despite what some people will tell you, your person is not responsible for your happiness. They can only do so much. The rest is up to you. If you’re unhappy with your career or your friendships or yourself, it’s up to you to make changes. It’s up to you to fix the problem areas in your life.
Your person isn’t supposed to save you. They’re supposed to support you. They’re supposed to encourage you to make changes that will lead to your happiness. They’re supposed to be your reminder you can accomplish great things.
Your person is supposed to cheer you on while you chase after what you want, but they can’t hand deliver everything you want. You have to work for it. You have to remind yourself you are in control of your future. You can get what you want as long as you try, as long as you hold yourself accountable.
You can’t blame your person for every single problem in your life. You can’t resent them over things that aren’t even their fault. Besides, there’s no point in placing blame. It’s better to fix whatever is bothering you instead of dwelling on whatever is bothering you.
If you feel like you’ve drifted from your friends since your relationship started, start texting them again. Invite them out for dinner. Have a spa night. Or make new friends. Put yourself out there. Be social. Create a new group you can trust.
If you feel like you’ve veered off track from your career aspirations since your relationship started, kickstart your passions again. Work on your long lost projects again. Put effort into your passions again.
If you feel like you’ve lost your independence since your relationship started, carve out more alone time. Get to know yourself better. Enjoy the silence. Enjoy the solitude.
Just because you’re in a relationship and you happen to be upset doesn’t mean it’s the relationship making you upset. The relationship might be strong and healthy. Other areas of your world might need work. That’s why you should think twice when you’re in a bad mood and are tempted to go off on your person. You have to ask yourself whether they are really the problem or whether there are deeper issues involved.
When you’re upset with yourself, don’t take it out on your partner. Don’t push them away. Don’t sabotage one of the greatest things in your life because you’re upset about something else in your life.