5 Things You Shouldn't Let Your Boyfriend Change Your Mind About

5 Things You Shouldn’t Let Your Boyfriend Change Your Mind About

1. Your dreams. The person you’re dating is supposed to support you and encourage you. They’re meant to push you toward your dreams, not rip you away from them. If your person is trying to convince you to give up on your dreams for their own benefit (whether it’s to spend more time with you or keep you in your hometown or assure he’s the more successful one in the relationship) then you really need to rethink your attachment to him. It’s entirely possible to achieve success in your career and success in your relationship. You don’t have to choose one over the other — at least, not when you’re with the right person.

2. Your friends. If your friends are treating you terribly and your boyfriend points it out, then yes, you should leave them behind in order to find people who treat you better. But if your boyfriend is trying to pull you away from your friends because he doesn’t like them for some reason you can’t wrap your head around, then you shouldn’t let him change your mind about your friends. You shouldn’t let him guilt trip you when you decide to spend time with them. You shouldn’t let him convince you they are only dragging you down. You’ve known them forever. You’ve only known him for a short while. You don’t want to sacrifice lifelong friendships in order to please a guy who may or may not stay in your world for much longer.

3. Your morals. You shouldn’t give into peer pressure — and your person shouldn’t be pressuring you in the first place. They should respect your boundaries. If you’re uncomfortable with the idea of drinking or smoking or having sex too early in the relationship, then you shouldn’t do those things in order to impress him. You should stick to your guns, stick to your morals, stick to doing what you think is best.

4. Your hobbies. If your boyfriend calls your hobbies childish or looks down on you for engaging in them, you shouldn’t quit. You shouldn’t change your entire personality in order to please him. If he doesn’t like you exactly the way you are, if he cannot accept you for you, then he’s clearly not the right person for you. He doesn’t have to have all the same interests as you in order to respect your hobbies and be happy that they make you happy.

5. Your plans for the future. As much as you adore him, you don’t want to end up resenting him one day in the future. That’s why you shouldn’t give up your dreams of having kids for him — or give up your dreams of never having kids for him. If you want completely different things, then it doesn’t matter how much you love each other. Love doesn’t mean you belong together. Love doesn’t mean you’re supposed to sacrifice the life you’ve always dreamed about in order to keep him around. That’s not fair to you and it’s not fair to him either. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

Holly is the author of Severe(d): A Creepy Poetry Collection.

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