The More Chances You Give Him, The More You’re Hurting Yourself

The More Chances You Give Him, The More You’re Hurting Yourself

The more chances you give the wrong person, the more opportunities you’re giving him to repeat history, to hurt your heart even worse than the first time.

Even though he’s looking you in the eyes and promising you it’s going to be different this time, there’s no telling whether that’s the truth. He might be saying exactly what you want to hear. He might be manipulating you into forgiving him. You have to be cautious with your heart because second chances aren’t always a good thing. They don’t always lead to a happily ever after. Sometimes they lead to you saying I should have known better, I should have walked away the first time this happened.

Don’t get blindfolded by love. Before giving him a second chance on instinct, take some time to talk through the situation with him — and to think through the situation on your own. Ask yourself whether fighting for your relationship is the right move or whether you’ve moved past the point of problem solving. Ask yourself whether your love is worth the effort or whether it’s become too toxic to salvage.

The more chances you give the wrong person, the more leeway you’re giving him. There’s a chance he isn’t going to learn from his mistakes. There’s a chance he isn’t going to change his tune in order to convince you to stay in the relationship. There’s a chance he’s going to repeat the same bad behaviors again and again in the future. Since he got away with them in the past, he might assume he can get away with it an unlimited amount of times in the future too. After all, if you forgave him the first three times, why wouldn’t you forgive him the fourth or the fifth? That’s the mindset he could develop if you let his mistakes slide, if you let him do whatever he wants without repercussions.

The more chances you give the wrong person, the less time you’re giving yourself to move on, to heal from your heartache, to search for someone who would never screw you over.

The longer you hold onto a relationship that is clearly not working, the more time you’re wasting. You could be single right now. You could be out, exploring your options. Or you could be working on getting to know yourself again, getting to love yourself again. You could be placing down the stepping stones you need in order to walk toward a more beautiful, bright future.

Instead of thinking of a breakup as a waste of your past years, start asking yourself whether prolonging the relationship is going to be a waste of your future years. You shouldn’t stick with someone simply because you invested X amount of time into them. You should stay with them for deeper reasons than that. Because they love you, they respect you, they encourage you, they inspire growth within you. If that’s not the reason you’re staying together, maybe you should rethink that second chance. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

Holly is the author of Severe(d): A Creepy Poetry Collection.

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