Why Girls Who Don't Love Themselves Have Trust Issues

Why Girls Who Don’t Love Themselves Have Trust Issues

Girls who don’t love themselves have trust issues because we struggle to see why anyone would want to date us. When we find out someone is interested in us, we assume there must be a catch. We think they’re leading us on. We think they’re screwing with us. We think they’re lying in order to hook up with us.

We question good intentions because it’s so hard to believe anyone would like us when we don’t even like ourselves.

Even once we’re in a serious relationship, it’s hard for us to feel comfortable. We get paranoid when our person comes home too late. We feel insecure when a prettier woman walks into the room. We worry our person will wake up one day and realize they’re out of our league.

It doesn’t matter how well our person treats us. It doesn’t matter how much we trust them when they say they’re never going to hurt us. Even if a part of us believes they would never do anything to hurt us, another part of us is always on the lookout for signs of cheating, signs of lies, signs we’re about to be abandoned.

Girls who don’t love themselves are good at loving other people — but we suck at accepting any love they return.

We have trust issues because we can’t come up with any reasons why someone would want to date us — but we can come up with a million reasons why someone would want to leave us. It’s easier for us to accept heartbreak than it is for us to accept love.

We are harder on ourselves than we have any right to be. We tear ourselves apart every time we look in the mirror, every time we say something awkward, every time we make a simple mistake. We play the part of our own worst enemy.

Girls who don’t love themselves have trust issues because we aren’t able to see the beauty within ourselves. We only see our flaws. We see the worst pieces of ourselves. We consider ourselves unlovable, so when someone walks into our life and shows us love, we’re not sure how to handle it. Our instinct is to run because we assume this is too good to be true. We assume everyone sees us the same way we see ourselves.

Girls who don’t love themselves have trouble believing anyone could be excited about hugging us or kissing us one time, let alone spending the rest of their lives with us. We’ve spent our entire lives hiding behind sarcasm and self-deprecation, so it’s hard for us to untrain our brains. It’s hard for us to accept compliments. It’s hard for us to believe someone has deemed us worthy enough to date.

It can take us a long time to learn the mean things we say about ourselves aren’t necessarily true. It can take us a long time to accept there is someone out there who loves us, even though we aren’t ready to love ourselves. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

About the author

Holly Riordan

Holly is the author of Severe(d): A Creepy Poetry Collection.