When you switch from dating a cheater to dating someone loyal AF, there is a bigger adjustment period than you would think.
Everything you learned in your last relationship you have to unlearn in order to treat your new person with the respect they deserve.
You’re used to snooping through texts and getting into nasty arguments at bars and fighting about what time they were supposed to get home from work.
Worst of all, you’re used to your paranoia being correct. You’re used to your bad gut feelings paying off. You’re used to suspecting your person is fooling around behind your back and being proven right.
You’re used to being betrayed by the person who is supposed to love you the most — and it’s not easy to get over what that kind of treatment has done to you.
When you date someone loyal after spending a long time with a cheater, you have to make changes to your own behavior. For the first time in your life, you feel like the toxic person in the relationship.
You’re the one who is causing drama, who is getting suspicious over nothing, who is accusing someone innocent of doing horrible things behind your back.
Your last relationship left you with trust issues and that’s understandable. Anyone would have a hard time trusting after what you have been through.
But if you’re serious about the new person you’ve been pursuing, you have to remind yourself they are not your ex. They don’t deserve to be punished for what your ex did to you. They don’t deserve to be treated like a criminal when they have done nothing except love and support you.
It’s hard to switch from questioning your ex every time they’re a minute late because they’re probably hooking up with someone behind your back again — to telling yourself to relax when your person is late because they are probably stuck in traffic and it’s nothing more than that.
It’s hard to switch from assuming every text message they smile at is from a secret lover or a dating site — to assuming the ding is probably just their mother or best friend checking up on them.
It’s hard to switch from keeping a close eye out for a hint of perfume on their collar or an abandoned lipstick in their car — to stuffing your paranoia down your chest because you truly believe your person would never hurt you.
When you switch from dating a cheater to dating someone loyal AF, it’s not going to be easy for you. There are going to be moments when you revert back to the girl you were with your ex. There are going to be times when you unfairly interrogate your person or completely shut down out of the blue. There are going to be occasions when you feel insecure and suspicious, but if you’re with the right person, you’ll be able to work through those feelings together. You’ll be able to trust each other in the end.