1. They freak out if you take too long to answer a text.
If you don’t answer a text or a phone call quick enough, they will accuse you of cheating on them — even if you are at work, even if you are driving, even if you have fallen asleep. They jump to the worst case scenario because they have severe trust issues. They cannot handle being away from you for more than a few hours at a time, because they need to see what you are doing in order to know you are not screwing them over.
2. They invade your privacy against your wishes.
They snoop through your phone. They guess your email password. They ask you to stop texting certain people, to stop going to certain bars, to stop using certain social media sites. They set rules about what you are and are not allowed to do — but they won’t call them rules. They will claim you are free to do whatever you please, but they will suffer an extreme meltdown out if you do the wrong thing.
3. They get jealous when you hang out with anyone other than them.
They get jealous whenever you leave the house without them. They want to be attached at your hip at all times. Their fears extend deeper than worrying about you cheating on them with a coworker or an ex you find attractive. They don’t want you hanging out with your best friends or family members either. They might even be jealous when you come home and run straight to your pets to say hello. They want all of your attention, all of your heart. They don’t want you to have any room left for anyone else.
4. When you come to them with good news, they aren’t happy for you.
They never congratulate you on promotions or celebrations or big goals you are excited about accomplishing. They always find a way to diminish your successes. Maybe because your wins make them feel like a failure. Or maybe because they are annoyed something else is making you happy outside of your relationship when they want to be the only reason for your happiness. Either way, they never provide the support you need. They end up ruining your good mood. They end up making you want to keep your good news to yourself.
5. You get into arguments whenever you hang out in groups.
When you two are alone, everything is fine. You get along well. However, it’s a completely different story when you go out with friends. At some point in the night, they always end up starting an argument about you spending too much time talking to someone else, about you looking at someone else, about you joking around with someone else. They want you to get along with their friends — but not too well.
6. They monitor your social media accounts.
They get mad when you like a celebrity picture on Instagram. They interrogate you when you wish a happy birthday to a friend on Facebook they have never heard of before. They stalk everyone you interact with in order to see if these other people are threats, if they might steal you away.
7. They turn everything into a competition.
They treat you more like a competitor than a teammate. They compare how much money you make each week. They compare how many times you go out with friends each month. They turn every little thing into a competition — and take it out on you when they lose.
8. You actually have to prove where you are.
They never believe a word you say. You have to back up your stories with proof. When you are out with friends, you might need to take a selfie or hand your phone to the friend you’re supposedly hanging out with to confirm your story. Your person needs you to provide constant evidence you are not a liar and a cheat — and that is not the way relationships are supposed to run.