Friends With Benefits Aren’t Supposed To Love Like This

We have been breaking every rule in the book. We have been acting more like boyfriend and girlfriend than casual hookups. 

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Friends with benefits are not supposed to cuddle in bed for hours after sleeping together, talking about class and binge-watching sitcoms. They are not supposed to share music and trade childhood stories. They are not supposed to know each other as well as we know each other.

Friends with benefits are not supposed to send good morning texts. They are not supposed to continue the conversation throughout the evening and night. They are not supposed to beam whenever another message comes through.

Friends with benefits are not supposed to meet parents and grandparents. They are not supposed to get invited to hangout sessions with friends. They are not supposed to be involved the way we are involved.

We have been breaking every rule in the book. We have been acting more like boyfriend and girlfriend than casual hookups.

Friends with benefits are only supposed to see each other once in a while. They are only supposed to have sexual chemistry. They are not supposed to get invested. They are not supposed to act romantic. They are not supposed to become best friends.

You can call us friends with benefits but the label is inaccurate. We are more than casual. There is something growing between us. Something deeper than sex.

I am afraid to admit how much you mean to me aloud because I am worried about sending you running away, but you must realize how close we have gotten. You must have noticed the shift between us. You must feel the same way as me.

I am not fooling myself. I am not blinded by my feelings. I am not seeing what I want to see. I am positive there is something between us that goes beyond the physical. You like me for more than my body. You like my personality. You like spending time with me. You like the way you feel when I walk into a room. And I like you — for a million different reasons.

Friends with benefits are not supposed to have an emotional connection. They are not supposed to hold hands. They are not supposed to exchange kisses on the forehead. They are not supposed to stare deeply into each other’s eyes.

Friends with benefits are not supposed to get jealous. They are not supposed to want each other all to themselves. They are not supposed to treat each other like they are in a committed relationship.

Friends with benefits aren’t supposed to spend as much time together as we have. They are not supposed to hang out every weekend. They are not supposed to plan date-like activities. They are not supposed to miss each other as soon as they part ways.

Friends with benefits aren’t supposed to have the relationship we have developed. Friends with benefits aren’t supposed to love like this.

We were never supposed to fall for each other — but it happened anyway. I am not going to run from my feelings. I am not going to continue denying them. I am going to embrace them. I hope you do the same. Thought Catalog Logo Mark