Why Can't You Be 'Just Friends' With Someone You Once Loved?

Stop Fighting So Hard For His Attention

Stop fighting for their attention. Stop posting pictures with the hope they will realize how pretty you are. Stop forcing conversations with the hope they will realize how much fun you are. Stop throwing yourself at them when they have not been showing anywhere near the same amount of interest.

You do not want to end up in a one-sided relationship where you are stuck doing all of the work. You are not meant to convince someone of your worth. The right person for you will see how beautiful and intelligent and strong you are from the start. You won’t need to spell it out for them. They will know you are worthy of their time. They will know you are someone special. They will see that on their own.

Stop clearing your schedule when a certain someone mentions they are free that night. Stop sending the first text and complimenting them on how attractive they are and buying them cute little gifts to make them like you back. Stop giving them every little piece of yourself when they clearly do not appreciate your offers.

You are not supposed to try this hard to get them. Earning their attention is not supposed to be this complicated.

If they wanted you as much as you wanted them, then the playing ground would be leveled. You wouldn’t be planning out conversation starters and staring at your phone every night, wondering whether it’s too soon to text them again when they haven’t answered you back the first time. You wouldn’t be carrying the bulk of the relationship. You wouldn’t be the only one willing to exert effort.

Once you find your forever person, everything will be different. They will text you first thing in the morning. They will return your compliments. They will schedule dates with you ahead of time so you don’t end up ditching your friends at the last second to see them.

You won’t have to fight for their attention. You won’t have to nudge your way into their world. Even when they are out with their friends and have every right to be distracted, you will remain on their mind. They will never stop thinking about you, never stop caring about you.

If you have to fight for attention from someone, then you should give up on them. Walk away. Or at least remain silent and see what happens. Stop sending the first text. Stop asking them to hang out. Stop liking their photos and leaving comments beneath their statuses.

When they do not reach out to you, when they prove you have been the only one keeping the relationship afloat, you will realize how little you mean to them. You will see how long they can go without talking to you. You will have evidence you were always the one who cared more.

Remember that you should never have to fight for love or respect or attention. Your forever person will give you all of those things without being asked. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

About the author

Holly Riordan

Holly is the author of Severe(d): A Creepy Poetry Collection.