Stop Taking Care Of Other People, Take Care Of Yourself

Girl who takes care of other people
Unsplash / Celine Ruiz

Stop putting other people before yourself. Stop pausing before you make decisions and asking yourself what would make them the happiest instead of what would make you the happiest.

Stop saying yes to every question asked of you. Stop putting more on your plate than you can handle at once. Stop thinking that you are in charge of saving everybody.

Stop taking care of other people when no one is taking care of you.

You don’t have to stay on the phone for three hours and listen to your friend complain about her problems when you have problems of your own to deal with. You don’t have to miss out on sleep that you desperately need so that you can pick your brother up from the airport when he could easily call an Uber. You don’t have to inconvenience yourself just because you care about someone.

You can be a kind person without being a self-sacrificing person. You can be a good friend without bending over backwards and breaking bones. You can be there for other people without neglecting yourself. You can help them without hurting yourself. You can find a better balance. 

You are allowed to tell your friends you aren’t in the mood to leave the house when they invite you for dinner and drinks.

You are allowed to tell your person you aren’t in the mood for sex when they reach for your zipper.

You are allowed to tell your parents you don’t have time to talk to them on the phone that night.

You are allowed to tell your boss that you can’t work overtime that weekend.

You are allowed to disappoint other people. You are allowed to do what is best for yourself. You are allowed to make decisions based off of what is best for you and your own mental health — not what will make people like you more, not what will make them the happiest, not what will make them the most comfortable.

You shouldn’t feel guilty for choosing to stay inside and sleep while your friends are out partying on a Saturday night. You shouldn’t feel guilty for taking a sick day when you don’t have the energy to climb out of bed that day. You shouldn’t feel guilty for cutting someone out of your life when they brought you more stress than you could handle.

You shouldn’t feel guilty over decisions that you have every right to make.

Stop choosing the selfless option because you think it makes you a better person. Sometimes, it is okay to do the selfish thing. Sometimes, it is okay to put yourself ahead of everybody else.

You deserve to have peace of mind. You deserve to have days of relaxation. You deserve to have time to yourself.

You need to start taking better care of yourself so that you don’t end up burning out. You need to start treating yourself with the same amount of love you have been giving everyone else. TC mark

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