If you find someone who makes you happier than you’ve been in ages, who makes it easier for you to get up in the morning, who makes you want to become a better version of yourself, then date them. Create a connection with them. Settle down with them. Spend eternity alongside them.
But if you haven’t found a person like that yet, then stay single for as long as you need. Don’t be embarrassed about telling your cousins that you are single when the holidays roll around and they ask about your love life. Don’t feel awkward when you’re the only one of your friends who isn’t married with babies yet, let alone still single. Don’t fool yourself into believing that you would be better off in a relationship with someone, with anyone.
It’s better to stay single than to date someone who takes hours to answer the simplest texts — or someone that you put off replying to, because honestly, you can go a while without talking to them and feel fine about it.
It’s better to stay single than to date someone who gets mad at you for every little thing you do — or someone you get annoyed with when you have to meet up with their parents for a family dinner or when you have to attend a party filled with their best friends.
It’s better to stay single than to date someone who wants to see you more than you want to see them. Who likes you more than you like them. Or vice versa.
Instead of settling for someone toxic — or even for a super sweet person that you just don’t feel those sparks with — wait it out. Wait for a relationship where the feelings are mutual. Where you are both crazy about each other. Where you can both picture a future that lasts forever.
It’s easy to feel rushed when everyone around you is moving forward, when they are sporting diamond rings and bragging about their accomplishments.
But you have a lifetime in front of you. You have time to pursue your dreams. Time to form new friendships. Time to earn that promotion. And more than enough time to find your forever person.
So stop badgering yourself for breaking up with that person you’ve been with for years, the person you thought was the last you would ever kiss. Or — if it’s been years since you’ve even been on a date — stop badgering yourself for not being able to find the right fit. For being forever alone.
You are allowed to date around. You are allowed to kiss the wrong people, to sleep with the wrong people, to commit to the wrong people. You are allowed to guess and check with relationships, to see what kind of people are right for you and are completely wrong for you. You are allowed to experiment, to experience.
But you are also allowed to stay single. You are allowed to choose a weekend home in bed over drunken nights out on the prowl. You are allowed to choose yourself over faceless strangers in a bar.
You are allowed to find your forever person at your own pace.