This Is What Dating Is Like After You Lose Your Forever Person

Twenty20 / dannyt16_3

Dating isn’t as exciting as it used to be before you found your forever person. You once loved the butterflies you’d get when you met someone new, the daydreams you had about your future.

But now, you hate the idea of mingling with strangers, because you thought you were done with first dates and awkward conversations. You thought you had settled down with the person you were going to spend the rest of your days alongside.

After you lose your forever person, you feel a strange mixture of hope and hopelessness. Your hopes give you high standards, because you know how you are meant to be treated. You’re used to being listened to and spoken to respectfully. You’re used to sharing opinions and food and clothes.

You aren’t going to stay with anyone that puts you second, that tries to place your love on the back burner, because you know what a healthy relationship looks like. You’ve lived through one.

You know what you deserve, so you aren’t going to agree to date the first person you find. You’re going to search long and hard.

But at the same time, you feel a sense of hopelessness, because you already found the person that fits you perfectly. You’ve already went through the puppy dog phase and the overly comfortable phase and everything in between.

You don’t want to do those things again. You don’t want to start back at square one, where you barely know the other person and have no idea whether or not they’re actually worth investing time in.

And you definitely don’t want to go from a serious, monogamous relationship to a series of one-night stands. You aren’t interested in flings or first dates that start at midnight. You want something equal in value to what you left behind.

You want to skip straight to cuddling in flannel pajamas and sharing house keys. You want to jump to the stage where you’re comfortable with their friends and know everything about them.

But you have a feeling that you’re never going to experience that type of comfort again, that you had your one chance at true love and you blew it.

How could any other relationship ever compete with your last one? 

After you lose your forever person, you feel like love is a lie. Like forever is impossible.

You start judging your friends that have been with their partners for years, because why should their relationship last when yours failed? Why should they continue to be happy when you’ve been struck in the face by reality?

After you lose your forever person, you lose a chunk of yourself. You question everything you once believed in. You wonder if dating is really worth it in the end. If you should just give up and accept that you’re going to stay alone.

After you lose your forever person, you’ll feel like you will never be okay again, like your heart will never heal.

But one day, you’ll look back at your memories with a smile, happy that you had such a successful relationship, even though it eventually ended.

One day, you’ll find peace with being alone.

And one day, you might even discover that your real forever person is still out there. TC mark

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