The girls who act like they’re emotionless are the ones who have been hurt the deepest. The ones who have had their hearts torn to pieces. The ones who have been through so much pain that they’re not sure if they can physically handle any more.
She acts like she doesn’t care about anyone, because it’s easier that way. If she cuts herself off from her friends, if she distances herself from her family, if she acts like she couldn’t care less about the boy that she secretly wants to date, then none of those people can hurt her.
She pushes others away before they can push her away. She would rather hurt someone else than wait for them to hurt her.
The way she looks at it is, if she pretends that there’s no one in this world she cares about, then she can’t get her heart broken again. If she acts emotionless, then she’s indestructible.
She’s like a little kid at a playground. It’s easier for her to tease the boy she likes about his new haircut than admit that he looks attractive. It’s easier for her to turn down dates than accept them, even if all she wants to do is say yes.
Acting like she’s emotionless is her coping mechanism. It’s her way to keep everyone at an arm’s length. To mask her vulnerability.
She can’t imagine having her heart broken again, so she tries hard not to fall in love in the first place. She keeps telling herself that she’s better off alone, that she’s happier alone, that she needs to stay alone.
She’s built a bubble around herself for protection and runs whenever anyone goes near her. She takes two steps back whenever they take one step forward.
It makes her look like an asshole, like she doesn’t care about the kindness that other people offer her, but it’s something she feels like she has to do to survive. Besides, if she looks mean, other people will stay away. They won’t want anything to do with her — and that’s a good thing.
She knows if she makes the mistake of letting anyone too close, they’ll see right through her lies. They’ll realize that she cares more than she lets on. That she’s actually one of the most emotional girls out there.
Secretly, she’s sensitive. Delicate. Fragile. She listens closely to every compliment and insult she’s given. She never forgets the way a person looked at her or treated her.
No one ever sees her cry, but that doesn’t mean the tears never fall. She just releases them in secret. She does it where no one else can see, so that everyone continues to think that she has it all together. That she’s happy with her life and herself.
But in reality, isolating herself from everyone else is only hurting her. It’s making her feel abandoned. Unloved. It’s making her doubt her purpose in this universe.
She always tries her hardest to look strong. But, honestly, she doesn’t feel strong at all.
She feels alone.