13 Ways To Make Your Cum Delicious

1. This may come (lol) as a surprise to many of you, but it turns out that drinking lots of alcohol, smoking a boatload of cigarettes, doing copious amounts of drugs and downing cup after cup of coffee is actually bad for your cum. It makes it bitter and gross, so if you want your sex person to swallow, lay off these things for a week or so. Or like forever.

2. Even as there are things you should definitely not eat, there are also things you can eat. Think fruits, like pineapples, apples, cranberries, lemons, anything that’s natural and from the earth.

3. If you’re thinking someone is going to be tasting your cum anytime in the near future, do them a favor and lay off the fried food ok? If you can’t stand the taste of your own cum, how can you expect me to?

4. Turns out that both vegetarians and vegans have the best tasting cum, probably because they take in a lot of fruits and vegetables because they have nothing else to eat.

5. But if you are a meat eater, go for poultry over red meat.

6. Go easy on the eggs and dairy products (milk, cheese, yogurt, etc.). Cum has something against cows, apparently.

7. DO NOT EAT ASPARAGUS OR BROCCOLI OR GARLIC OR ONIONS.

8. I once blew a guy who had the best tasting cum. Seriously, it was so sweet and unique to him and I still remember it. That’s the thing though: you only remember the best tasting or the worst, god-awfulest tasting cum. If you really want to make your sex person crave your cum, take in lots of cinnamon, cardamon, peppermint and the like.

9. Popeye’s is delicious, but in general you should say NO to fast food if you want cum that keeps them coming back for more.

10. If you’re not sure what to cut out of your diet or what to include in it, the way it goes is pretty much that anything that’s bad for your health is bad for your cum. So if you eat pretty healthily on a regular basis, your cum is prob be AMAZING.

11. And if you have a problem eating healthy, eat some fruit every day and drink a whole lot of water. It’ll flush out all the toxins you are polluting your body with.

12. You and your sex person can play with the “Super Spunk Smoothie” that is supposed to make your cum taste like wow, and it includes basically everything on this list that’s good for you.

13. And failing all that, if you’re really lazy you can just order some Yummy Cum and call it a day (but it only has 6 reviews on Amazon so meh). Thought Catalog Logo Mark

image – Shutterstock

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Heather Hailey

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