13. Getting High
Not one of my loved ones but one of my dad’s friend died what I considered to be a ‘funny’ death. His best friend was a junkie (as was he) and on his (my dad’s) birthday they wanted to do some heroin but his girlfriend didn’t like him doing the heroin so they climbed up a tree to do it in secret. They got high (in both ways) and then he fell out of the tree and died.
14. This Is It! I Can Feel It!
My grandfather’s heart was 96% clogged for the last ten years of his life. He had diabetes and two forms of cancer.
When they found the cancer, he asked the doctor what he should do. The doctor said, “Well, if you don’t treat it, it’ll kill you in three years.” Then he shrugged and said, “But, I mean, I wouldn’t worry about planning that far ahead.”
One day, he called up the whole family and said, “This is it. I can feel it. This is the moment I am going to die.”
So everybody came out to be with him. We have family in the arctic, in Thailand and in China, and they all came to Ontario to be with him. We sat and talked to him and tried to say comforting thing. Personally, I said, “How are you doing, gramps?” He said, “I’m dying, how the hell do you think I’m doing?”
We all stood by his side that night waiting for him.
And then the next night.
By day three, my uncle started to get impatient. He started saying, “Y’know, I’ve really got to go to work on Monday.”
The people who held out the longest stayed for a week, all just sort of waiting for him to die, but he never did. Eventually, though, everyone had to go back to their own lives, and plus we were getting bored, so we all moved on.
Three months later he called again and said he was dying again, but we weren’t going to fall for that trick twice.
It turned out he was telling the truth that time.
15. Joke’s On You
My friend made a Facebook status almost two years ago right after Halloween that read, “Happy Diabetes Awareness Day” pretty much just as a joke.
He was found dead a day or two later in his apartment. He died from complications due to diabetes. I never even knew he had it.