Amazingly, when I finally gave up my controlling behavior, my relationships changed completely and conflicts became easy to resolve.
All of us meet perfectly wonderful people with whom we just don’t feel a connection.
The wounded self operates out of false beliefs, rather than from the truth of who we really are, it wants to control how people feel about us.
Every interaction we have with others is a reflection of our beliefs about ourselves, and we have the opportunity to learn from each difficult interaction.
Some people are terrified of doing something wrong and being rejected because they make the other person responsible for their feelings of worth and lovability.
When you do what another person wants you to do from love and caring, with no agenda to get their approval, you feel wonderful. But when you give yourself up from fear of your partner’s anger or withdrawal, you will feel trapped and resentful.
I’ve waited so long for love to come into my life, yet now that it’s here, I’m depressed. I can’t figure this out.
You take yourself with you when you leave, and unless you heal your part of the relationship problem, you will continue to behave in ways that eventually destroys relationships.
You will stay stuck in anger and judgment, and in feeling like a victim, as long as you make others responsible for whether or not you forgive yourself. Others’ forgiveness has nothing to do with your own decision to judge or forgive yourself.
It takes great courage to shift from invisibility to being seen and valued. It takes great courage to be willing to lose others rather than continue to lose yourself.