Infidelity generally comes from the same inner emptiness as does alcohol and drug abuse, food addiction, gambling, spending, shopping, and so on. In the case of infidelity, the addiction is to attention, approval or sex – using another person to fill the inner emptiness and take away the inner aloneness.
Anger and blame toward your family of origin are not only a waste of energy, they keep you stuck in being a victim rather taking responsibility for learning to love yourself.
Of course it’s always “okay” to call it quits if that is what you want. No one can tell you whether or not it’s right for you. But – and this is a big ‘but’ – you might want to do your own healing before ending the relationship.
It’s amazing how quickly love vanishes when one or both partners have the intent to control.
Most relationships require us to bend to a certain extent, but how much can we bend without a sense of loss of self?
If one or both people in a relationship are closed to learning about themselves and each other, the relationship will not heal.
It’s too easy to leave, too easy to blame the other person, too easy to miss the incredible opportunity that relationships provide for healing and growth.
The challenging truth is that we cannot connect with another until we connect with ourselves.
It’s vitally important to be honest with yourself so that you don’t end up feeling like a victim, and so that you have less of a chance of repeating this in a future relationship.
As soon as someone wants something from him, his terror of losing himself is activated and he automatically resists.