1. Cacafuego: a temperamental person.
Nowadays when someone is obnoxiously moody, folks like to label ‘em bi-polar. Why incorrectly diagnose someone with an actual disorder when you can refer to him or her as a term that translates from Spanish to English as ‘shit fire.’ We all have a feisty friend who gets snappy, and the instant we see that shift in attitude, we can let that
shitfire cacafuego know how they’re acting.
2. Slubberdegullion: a dirty rascal.
I’m immediately realizing that ‘dirty rascal,’ the definition of ‘slubberdegullion,’ isn’t too shabby itself. How exciting! This is like when you hit D-1 on the vending machine and get two bags of chips. Let’s use both with reckless abandon.
3. Beaunasty: a slovenly fop; one finely dressed, but dirty.
The outfit? Spectacular. The person inside of it? Not so much. When you’re in the club and see a bunch of 2s and 3s dressed like 9s and 10s, this is what you’re going to want to refer to them as.
4. Ninny: a foolish person.
In addition to being great fun to say, “ninny” is especially ideal to use with friends, because it’s so lighthearted. It’s the shortened version of nincompoop, which is also an option if an extra syllable makes your loins tingle.
5.Milksop: a person who is indecisive and lacks courage — an unmanley man.
“Chicken” is a child’s term, “coward” is too basic, “p-ssy” is too vulgar, MILKSOP IS THE PERFECT MIDDLE GROUND. Next time you want to call out a yellow-bellied individual, rest your feet on the perfectly cushiony surface that is milksop.
6. Plonker: an inept person.
This is another playful term that our clumsy, incompetent friends deserve to be called. They’ll knock things over and break stuff with that Steve Urkel “Did I do that?” type innocence, and you don’t want to be malicious, but have to call them something. The person you know who never looks graceful and always trips and has zero coordination is officially a straight up plonker.
7. Snollygoster: an unprincipled but shrewd person.
Do we even care what it means? Let’s go ahead and use this term incorrectly and as often as possibly because it’s a blast. Snollygoster is the amusement park of words.
8. Blatherskite: a person who talks at great length without making much sense.
What a wonderful word to describe the long-winded ramblers in your life. The internet has its fair share of these types, but they tap away at their keyboards (usually anonymously) and now we can reply by hitting ‘em with a quick “Pipe down, you blatherskite.” That’s a lot more enjoable than “STFU,” which trolls have become desensitized to.
9. Flibbertigibbet: a frivolous, flighty, or excessively talkative person.
Basically, when the blatherskites catch on to what blatherskite means, we’re going to start calling them ‘flibbertigibbets’ instead.
10. Frenchified: to have contracted or be infected with venereal disease(s), often in reference to prostitution or numerous sexual partners.
What a delicious sounding insult (somewhat similar to french-fries), that actually turns out to be pretty terrible. Do with this insult what your heart desires, but be careful to avoid fenchified shaming.
11. Degenerate: an immoral or corrupt person.
As you soar into your mid-late 20s or older, you’ll need a word to describe all of the corrupted street youths. Look no further, degenerate is what you’re looking for when you wave a fist at those noisy, hooligan teenagers.
12. Helminth: a parasitic worm; a fluke, tapeworm, or nematode.
These are actual multicellular organisms that have their own Wikipedia page and stuff. Regardless of all that, they’re terrible worm-like things that feed on their host, so that’s the type of stone you’re trying to throw when you call someone a helminth. Seems fitting for that person who doesn’t order anything, but shortly thereafter begins sampling your meal.
13. Poltroon: an utter coward.
This is milksop’s less intelligent, less attractive sibling. Sure, it’ll get some attention based on the family it’s associated with, but poltroon is clearly a B+ insult in comparison to its sister.
14. Plebe: one who is considered to be inferior.
When you have minions (also a fun word) or haters, and don’t want to stoop to their level of classlessness, the term ‘plebe’ swoops in to save the day. Imagine yourself approaching a building, wearing sunglasses and a leather jacket, walking confidently past a crowd of hater, hatefully glaring at you as your strides continues in slow motion and Off to the Races by Lana Del Rey plays in the background. As you reach the door, you turn, look back at all of your naysayers and mouth one word – “plebes.” That sounds so much smoother than holding up two middle fingers and angrily screaming “F–k you b-tch-ass haters! etc.”