When It’s Right, You’ll Know

The Love You Deserve

When you look in the mirror, what do you see? Not in a literal sense. Not the actual reflection staring back at you – but the person inside of that physical body. Who you see and what feel about yourself is more important than what anyone else thinks. If we don’t value ourselves, we sure as heck can’t expect others to. It’s great when people do see our shiny, diamond in the roughness, but if your self-esteem is shot and your confidence is non-existent, you’re covering your beauty instead of putting it on full display, and that often leads to taking whatever you can get.

Don’t settle. You know you shouldn’t accept a significant other who doesn’t make an effort or regularly treats you like crap. You know when the bad outweighs the good, the arguing is overwhelming and you’re headed nowhere fast. We see these things but for a number of reasons, we’ll turn and look the other way, ignoring them entirely. We refuse to acknowledge and address problems, allowing them to pile up until eventually; a hefty amount of emotional damage is unavoidable.

If you haven’t dated someone who treated you bad, or simply didn’t make an effort, you probably know someone who has. Seeing a friend be mistreated or constantly unhappy in their relationship is much different from your heart actually having a direct link to the carnage. When you’re observing, it’s a cinch to spot a dead end or cancerous relationship. It’s so easy to say, “You should breakup with him/her and move on.” But to follow that advice – to be emotionally invested in something and snip that cord is truly a tough task.

Parting ways, even with a lousy partner is difficult for a number of reasons. Maybe you would rather have someone, anyone, than be alone. Maybe you don’t want to risk them getting over you quickly and finding someone else. Or maybe, just maybe you actually believe they’re the person you deserve. Them and their lackluster effort, their belittling insults, their disloyal habits – that’s what you are supposed to endure. Over time, you’ve lost confidence in yourself and patience for a decent person to come around and want you, so now your standards are lowered to the point that you’re remaining in a toxic relationship.

When something is detrimental and unhealthy, it’s destined for failure – whether you end it on your own terms, or wait for a colossal incident to leave you with no choice, the relationship’s apocalypse is inevitable. So if you’re going to end up being single regardless, why not save yourself weeks, months, or years, of stress, tears, frustration, anger and embarrassment? Refuse to accept anything less than happiness and effort, knowing that that’s exactly what you deserve.

If it makes it any easier for you, think of it as having patience for your soulmate, who you may or may not have already met. It’s crazy when you really consider that your future boyfriend, girlfriend, husband or wife is somewhere in this world, living their life just like you are. Right this second they may be holding the hand of their current significant other, eating a lonely meal for one, or it might be your friend who you just went out with the other night, and have no idea what they’ll end up meaning to you.

If you’ve ever been done wrong and your confidence hit rock bottom, you’ve got to handle things differently in the future. You’ve got to wait. Wait for that person who is well worth the risk of feeling the awful, brokenhearted, miserableness that you once experienced, but has a kind enough heart that you feel certain they would never do that to you. And your judgment may be wrong, but again, that’s why you make certain in advance that they’re worth every potential sleepless night, rainy day and tear cried.

Patience, folks – it’s a virtue and stuff. If you’re single, wait. If you’re involved with someone who makes you feel like garbage that’s different, but if you’re lucky enough to be taken by a really good guy/girl, don’t think the grass is any greener on the single side, because it really isn’t always the case. Maybe from a distance it looks good, but when you get closer you’ll realize that your lawn is perfectly beautiful when watered, plus you can fart and wear no makeup in front of it. TC Mark