Harsh, it sounds.
There is no way that it as simple as that. When you are submerged in grief, it doesn’t seem like you could ever possible move on and learn to live without this person. The last thought in your mind is that life is ever going to go on and that things are ever going to be better. The truth is, it never really gets easy, but instead, you just start to learn to adjust to this new life. This becomes your norms and you figure out how to move forward and survive.
Not all at once does this happen, but slowly. Slowly you start to pick up the pieces of your broken world and put them together in a way that starts to give you some purpose and meaning again. One day, you find yourself crying less than the day before. Another day, you even find yourself laughing, smiling and finding genuine joy and happiness in daily life. One day, the pain has subsided more than you ever could have thought imaginable.
Eventually, you are genuinely living life again.
Life doesn’t give you an option when the people you love are going to get taken from you. You don’t get to pick and choose who leaves your life, when and how it is going to affect you. One day, your world gets flipped upside down and you have to figure out how to continue on. I mean what other choice do you have?
Eventually, everyone around you goes back to their own life. Life is continuing to move and happen everywhere you look and no matter how much it feels like yours is at a standstill, it’s still happening, whether you like it or not. People start asking about you less. You stop being everyone’s first priority and you go back to being just another person with another sad story.
Then you start to realize that you don’t have any other choice but to carry on too. Everyone else is doing it. It’s time that you go back to work. You have to start leaving the house again. You need to fold up the sweatpants and the baggy t-shirts and start putting yourself back together. It’s time to pull yourself out of bed, put on some real clothes and get ready to take on the world, the way that you know you are capable of.
You have to live again.
Because what other choice do you have? What would this person want for you? Would your loved one want you sitting in the house, crying all day while you could be out and living up to your full potential? They wouldn’t want to see you like this. This wouldn’t make them happy.
Life goes on. And yours needs to too.
Make something of yourself. The world is yours and you still have every opportunity in front of you. This person died but you are still here. You are still living and have every chance to make the rest of your life whatever you want to make it. Do it for them, but also, make sure to do it for yourself.