13 Signs You’re A Grown Ass Woman

On reading Chrissy Stockton’s awesome “13 Ways You Know You’re Dating A Grown-Ass Man,” I was inspired to do a little list of my own. Because as someone who dates a GAM myself, I believe the most important component of that relationship is being a GAW myself. Here, 13 signs you have it together.

1. You only date Grown-Ass Men (or Women, as you prefer) because you simply don’t have time to be playing the withholding game, or changing your personality to impress someone else. You date people who have their shit together, emotionally, and are long past the point in your life where you want to be waiting by your phone for days on end to see if your semi-boyfriend will text you back.

2. You know the kind of clothes you like, and you wear them to your heart’s content. Maybe you have to dress a certain way for work, but when it comes to your personal style, you enjoy what you enjoy and don’t make apologies for it. Whether you like over-the-top girly stuff, or all black, or just jeans and a t-shirt, you are always doing what you like.

3. Other women are not your enemies. You are not into the “I don’t get along with other girls” trip, because you know that “other girls” is a category so big as to be completely meaningless, and also, girls are great. You don’t see other women as cutthroat competition for men, you see them as potential friends until proven otherwise.

4. When it comes to apologies, you are not afraid to give them. You know what it means to say you’re sorry for something sincerely, and you aren’t going to let your pride get in the way of making amends with someone.

5. You keep your living space clean. It’s not about “the woman does the domestic duties,” it’s about “adults keep their surroundings relatively clean, because living space is an extension of the self and no grown up work gets done in a pig sty.” Growing up means putting laundry away, and doing the dishes as soon (or almost as soon) as they hit the sink.

6. You don’t play games with other people’s feelings. You communicate openly and continuously, and don’t try to hide how you feel or remain aloof, whether with friends or romantic partners. You are honest, because you expect honesty.

7. While you may criticize from time to time, you try not to put others down to make yourself feel better. You choose to emphasize what you like, instead of denigrating what you don’t like, because you want to cultivate positivity.

8. You are in touch with your body. You stretch, you dance, you look at yourself naked in the mirror. You might not be 100 percent comfortable with how you look, but you stay in constant connection with your body, and do your best to treat it well. If no one else will touch it with love and respect, at least you will.

9. You get your vitamins. Grown Ass Women eat a nutrient-rich diet.

10. Whatever job you’re doing, you try your hardest at it and don’t make excuses. Even temporary gigs deserve your best effort. Putting in good work and showing commitment is important to you, even if it won’t pay off in the immediate.

11. You treat your parents right. When it comes to the people who raised you, you understand that a simple phone call or “thank you” here and there is an invaluable thing, and you do your best to make sure you are thinking of them, and appreciate all that they do for you.

12. Making other people happy is a big part of what makes you happy, and seeing other people achieve the things they want in life is only a cause for you to celebrate. Everyone experiences jealousy, but you actively work on not letting it get too out of control.

13. You compliment when you mean it, and not just about people’s appearance. You know the power of a sincere, meaningful, unexpected compliment, and you love giving them. TC mark

Chelsea Fagan

Chelsea Fagan founded the blog The Financial Diet. She is on Twitter.

Trace the scars life has left you. It will remind you that at one point, you fought for something. You believed.

“You are the only person who gets to decide if you are happy or not—do not put your happiness into the hands of other people. Do not make it contingent on their acceptance of you or their feelings for you. At the end of the day, it doesn’t matter if someone dislikes you or if someone doesn’t want to be with you. All that matters is that you are happy with the person you are becoming. All that matters is that you like yourself, that you are proud of what you are putting out into the world. You are in charge of your joy, of your worth. You get to be your own validation. Please don’t ever forget that.” — Bianca Sparacino

Excerpted from The Strength In Our Scars by Bianca Sparacino.

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