26. modulus0

I know my son’s Reddit username.

27. adrexius

My real dad is a pedophile so I’m going to tell my 8-month-old son when he’s older that he died when I was 4. My siblings will tell their kids the same thing.

28. nShorty

Well I know my 23-year-old brother still sleeps with his Paddington teddy bear he got upon birth. It looks like a shriveled piece of foreskin by now.

29. DVXT

My mum told me I was an accident. And I don’t mean the normal way you tell a child. She told me that she used contraception (a condom that split), she took the morning after pill, and when that didn’t work she booked an appointment at the abortion clinic! The only reason she kept me was because she told my grandma who got overly excited and talked her into it.

I know that sounds a harsh thing to tell a child (she told me when I was about 14), but it never traumatized me because she always told me it was the best decision she ever made, and that I was determined to live. But whenever I tell anyone that she said that to me I always get the look of pure shock spread across their face!

30. KoreanMissile

Not a parent but one story I know my parents have on me is about when I was 2-3-years-old I went to the playground and found the bottom of a balloon. You know the part you blow in. Anyway I took said rubber circle and hid at the top of the play set and opened my pants and slipped it over the tip of my penis. Hours later I said daddy my thingy hurts to which he replied let’s go in my room and check it out. My pants were removed and he saw the end of a balloon on his son’s penis and immediately cut it off. The balloon NOT the penis thank god! Anyway my parents have vowed to never tell this story to anyone except the person I decide to spend the rest of my life with. I am 20.