2. Whaaaat??
My parents had this dog walker lady who would come three times a day to walk the pups. I was there when she came over one time, and she started talking to me. She seemed really nice, then she mentioned her granddaughter who was like 15 and how she thought we might “hit it off.”
I was like 22 at the time, so I told her that I didn’t think it was a good idea. 3 weeks later my phone buzzes, didn’t recognize the number, but I answered anyway. Guess who? Turns out she somehow got my mom to give her my number, gave it to her granddaughter, and this crazy 9th grader is calling me saying we should meet.
I tried to let her down easy, but she started crying about 5 minutes in. She was nuts. I eventually had to have her phone blocked cause she would call me like every two days.
After I blocked her, I came into the house one day and saw grandma there chatting with my mom. I definitely made a seal face, because mom asked me why I booked out without saying hello.
3. BOILING OIL ENEMA!
I was training to be a call center technician. It was a class the company offered that ran for 3 weeks. At the time I had a girlfriend that had a job somewhere else.
Anyways I’m a pretty easy going guy and make friends easily. There was a 45-55 year old woman that got friendly with me and would talk with me almost daily at lunch. She said some pretty odd stuff at times…
For instance one day she told me she murdered a man. Totally seriously and dead pan delivery. I really didn’t know what to say and probably made the mistake of continuing speaking to her asking her questions about why the fuck she killed someone and how. I didn’t believe her. Well basically she told me that it was her ex-husband and he was abusive to her and she killed him with a shovel and buried him in the woods. She claimed no one ever found his body.. Weird right? Fucking threw me for a loop.
About two sentences later she tells me “I want to take you home, tie you upside down between two metal poles and pour hot oil up your ass.”
It made me so uncomfortable hearing this… needless to say when I told my girl what happened she refused to let me keep working there.
TLDR: BOILING OIL ENEMA
