Thought Catalog

8 Unfortunate Signs You’re Unappreciated And Deserving Of Better

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1. If you don’t point out your redeeming qualities, you feel they’ll go unnoticed. You are a person, not a product – if it feels like you’re constantly giving an infomercial type sales pitch to somebody so they’ll understand your worth, there’s a problem with that connection. The most logical solution is to get out of that situation quickly. Your value will never be more evident to an inappreciative person than through your absence. Perhaps when you’re gone they’ll realize your importance and for their sake, hopefully it’s not too late.

2. The majority of contact is maintained by you. You text first, you call first, you pass along invites, you push to maintain some type of interaction and it begins to feel like you’re a persistent gnat, more bothersome than embraced. It’s easy to remain in denial, pretending that their lack of initiative and endless supply of excuses are legitimate, but at some point you’ve got to recognize a one-sided effort and call a spade a spade.

3. Any length of time apart or with no contact is emotionally painful for you, whereas they are just fine. Absence typically makes the heart grow fonder, not forgetful or content.

4. You’re constantly disappointed by spoken I love you’s that sound so nice to hear, but don’t match their actions in the least bit. One of the most cliché, commonly used statements that still holds so much truth is “actions speak louder than words.” It’s nice to hear how someone feels, but it’s even better to be well aware of it through their actual showings.

5. One of the main reasons you’re still around is for the comfort… Even if it’s uncomfortable. I once had a recliner chair that I relaxed in daily for years and eventually it began to breakdown. Sure, there were small maintenance efforts that recovered it to some degree, but eventually it was irreparable, falling apart in several areas. I got a new recliner that was CLEARLY capable of offering quality seating, but I used the old one because I just felt snug there. I know, relationships aren’t the same as chairs, but for the sake of this metaphor, we have to make sure we’re not remaining in the same creaky, worn, tattered seat only because we’ve grown accustomed to it.

6. You reject the idea of better if it’s coming from elsewhere. There is a mindset people get firmly stuck in and for them, they know they deserve better but don’t care to do anything about it. You want better, but you only want it from that one person. Sure, so-and-so might offer you attention, affection and have tons of potential, but for some reason it’s not enough to pull you away from the lackluster effort of the person you inexplicably want. Turning down others who come with a great deal of hope for mediocrity (or worse), you’re not necessarily doing yourself justice.

7. Them being too busy is a thing that actually comes up. There just isn’t such a thing as “too busy” when it comes to two people who irrefutably want to see each other. Time and sacrifices are made when we actually want something in any aspect of life, relationships with people aren’t immune to that notion.

8. Reading through this has tugged at several emotions and you’re realizing that the shoe fits someone you know all too well. It sucks, but there are times in life that call for you have to put yourself first. This is one of them. You’re the one emotionally at risk and unhappy with your treatment, therefor you must do something to change the situation. TC Mark

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      Reblogged this on when it is time, i will. and commented:
      oh well

    • Thought Catalog

      Reblogged this on Unafraid and commented:
      Last Friday, the 28th of June, I arrived at my condo with a rehearsed smile plastered on my face. I threw my bag down and plopped down onto the couch. My sister was on her laptop as per usual. I asked her how her day went and she asked me about mine. It was just the usual conversation we had every night.

      But as I was talking about my day and my friends, I could not help but talk about the one thing that had been bothering me for quite some time. To spare you the details of a rather pathetic break down, I ended up crying. I was sad but I was also angry, mostly at myself. And to add to my weepy state, I began ranting about everything that made me feel small and insignificant.

      And my sister just listened. That is the beautiful thing about her. She never offers me her pity. She does not hug me or pat me on the shoulder and tell me it’s going to be alright. She just sits there and listens to me. That is exactly what I need when I’m cracking.

      After I was done with my little episode and my sobs were reduced to sniffles and little hiccups, my sister smiled and said,

      “This is your blessing and your curse, Val. You have this wonderful ability to make other people feel comfortable around you, to make them happy but sometimes, they just use you for that and you don’t get what you want and you end up feeling empty.”

      “I don’t know how you manage to find something to like in everyone. I would have punched them in the mouth by now. But you shouldn’t apologize for disliking someone.”

      She was spot on, I suppose.
      I deserve better and if I continue to allow myself to be used as a doormat, then I’m never going to get better. I adore my friends but I do feel used sometimes. I feel temporary, like I could be replaced and things would not change. I feel like part of the background.

      Someone linked this article to me and I read this list of signs to my sister after our conversation. She said I fit the description almost perfectly. That has to change and I’m working on it.

    • http://brittneec.wordpress.com brittneec21

      Reblogged this on Vegetarian Truths Unleashed and commented:
      Not related to vegetarianism, but I found this important.

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      Reblogged this on sigracybahni's Blog and commented:
      Point no.8!

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      […] do you know if you are being unappreciated? Here is an article I found that shows the top eight signs, which include the fact that most of the contact being initiated by […]

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