It’s almost Halloween, which means we’re all going to spend the last few days of the month scaring the shit out of ourselves for “fun.” Seriously, I couldn’t sleep last night because I stayed up into the early hours of the morning reading true ghost stories and then couldn’t fall asleep because I was convinced something was watching me. But, you know, in a fun way!!!
Dear Prudence‘s Mallory Ortberg has another idea of Halloween fun, I guess. On the podcast, she asked fans to send her photos of the most terrifying dolls they owned, and Twitter definitely delivered.
My only question: how are any of y’all even still alive???
Like, most of these look like something straight out of a horror movie. You know, the kinds of dolls that get possessed by something evil and then peel your skin off in your sleep.
Like seriously, people???
Okay, question for everyone who owns these dolls: WTF ARE YOU DOING?!?! YOU NEED TO BURN THESE WHILE YOU CAN!!!
But not everyone owns a creepy-ass demonic doll (thank god). Other people were smarter: they found creepy dolls, but they sure as hell weren’t going to buy them.
This is 100% not okay.
Okay, not to be overdramatic, but I would literally DIE if I saw any of these in real life. Probably from lack of sleep, tbh, because there’s no way I’d ever be able to recover from the thought that they probably followed me home and are watching me through my bedroom window.
All I’m saying is that if you own any of this shit and you notice your stuff goes missing/the dolls start mysteriously moving around your apartment when you’re not there, don’t even think about calling me. You’re gonna have to deal with that one alone.