1. He literally can’t take a hint
I was coming home from like an indie club on the bus at 1am in my college town. The bus is nearly empty when a get on, with a few people including this one guy who won’t stop staring at me. As the bus leaves, he asks if I mind if he sits next to me. The bus is nearly empty, so I said I’d mind, I’d like to put my purse there. He sits in front of me, instead.
The entire bus ride, the dude will not stop talking to me. I clearly don’t want to talk, but he keeps talking at me, and asking me about my classes, what I’m into, what I like. I give pretty short, but polite answers, hoping he’ll get the hint. Nope, he keeps talking and telling me how beautiful I am and how I seem so smart and cool and nice. Made me really uncomfortable, especially since I’m barely answering the dude, so how could he know any of that stuff? I even drop the boyfriend bomb–my beau was home sick–and the dude continues unfazed.
Get to about three stops before mine and the bus takes “a break” where they wait about 10-15 min because they’re running fast on the route. The route sort of doubles back, so I’m pretty close to my apartment. At this point, there’s only one other person on the bus besides me, the dude and the bus driver. I say, “well, I’m pretty close, I don’t want to wait the fifteen minutes, I’m just getting off here.” Mostly to get away from this creep. But the dude asks if he can stop by my place! “No, no, I’m going to sleep, I’m fine.” So he says, “oh, I wouldn’t want a pretty girl to walk home alone. I’ll walk you.” HELL. NO. I do NOT want this dude knowing exactly where I live, let alone walking me home.
I was young and terrified of being rude, so I just kept saying, no I’m fine. Just stay here. Please, I’m fine. He’s insisting. Then the bus driver, who apparently was watching the entire ride yells, “Boy, she said she was fine. If you get off this bus, I swear I’ll call the cops.”
Best bus driver ever.
2. He wanted more than a cig…
One night in college, I was walking home. I was in the nightlife area right by campus, only a couple of blocks from my apartment. Some guy (30s-ish) asks to bum a cigarette, which then leads to him being all, “So what’s going on tonight beautiful? You busy? You got a boyfriend?” Me being young and afraid to anger a strange man, I sort of play along, uncomfortable and trying to break away but wanting to play it off naturally.
At one point someone rode past on their bike. They slowed down and stopped about half a block up. They turned around and stared back at us – it was too dark to see their face or who they were, but we could both see that they were there. They stayed like that until the guy left me alone.
I guess this is more of a street harassment story than getting hit on, but I will forever be grateful for that person just watching out for a stranger.
3. “I need them to see, fuck off!”
I’m usually the deterrent to persistent dudes when out with a group of friends, but one night this “gentleman” would not quit. An abbreviated summary of the conversation went something like:
- Him: “Hey, can I borrow your glasses?”
- Me: “… No.”
- Him: “C’mon, please?”
- Me: “No. I need them to see. Get the fuck out of here.”
And with ongoing protests from this guy, my lovely, beautiful best friend (on the right side of four vodka-sodas) just came up in between us repeatedly hollering “BYE!” until he quit.
When I thanked her and told her I would have handled it, her response was, “Nobody messes with my lady!” as she proceeded to bend over and keep dancing.
4. The only time
I was 17. This guy catcalled me outside a store. I told him to shut up. He laughed. When I came out the store the guy was gone. Another man, much older, came up to me and told me he overheard the exchange, and couldn’t stand to see the guy harassing people. So the older man told the first guy to leave or he would call the police.
Now, I’ve been harassed from 14 onwards and it is the only time in my life anyone stood up for me.
5. He even got a job out of it!
I had to start figuring out how to save myself from it at 11, so I’m usually going to see the bullshit coming. That said, I was in a sports bar and a guy grabbed me and wouldn’t let go. A friend of mine–Mike–saw it, grabbed him and threw him out of the place. The owner bought us both a drink and hired Mike as a bouncer.
6. Saved by a gay man
I was in Russia studying abroad and went to a club with a bunch of friends and one guy who was a friend of a friend. Some random, giant Russian dude was hitting on me aggressively all night. The friend of a friend was this French guy who did not look intimidating at all. He pretended to be my boyfriend and kept interrupting the other guy to talk to me in French (which I do not speak). He helped me get away from the other guy and I actually was pretty attracted to him… But then it turned out that he was gay. Luckily he didn’t need anyone to save him from me hitting on him, though.
7. She just made a HUGE scene
In the basement of a frat house, I was getting followed around by some guy, who was too persistent. He got me in the corner, so my friend came up to him, tapped him on the shoulder and starts yelling, “NOPE YOU AREN’T TRYING TO FUCK MY FRIEND, NUH UH MAN. BYE.” And is making a scene. Embarrassed, the guy finally left me alone.
8. He stalked me across the bar
1st year at uni, guy would not leave me alone in a bar. Started with just dancing near me, then dancing on me (shudder) then he’d follow me to the bar, wait outside the bathroom. I was in a big group of people and we didn’t really know each other so I guess they thought I knew this stranger.
So I’m in the bathroom in tears because I’m freaking out a bit. The bathroom attendant sits me down, gives me a lollipop and asks me to describe one of my friends. She finds them and explains what is going on.
When I come out of the bathroom they’re all there and immediately create a human wall, separating this guy from me. He starts kicking off, they begin to walk as a group towards the exit, forcing him towards the bouncers. They quickly kick him out for trying to start a fight.
So the bathroom attendant saved the day (we gave her a great tip to say thank you). From then on, if any of us were receiving unwanted attention we’d text/tell/suggest through interpretive dance ‘lollipop’ and we would protect each other.
9. The ending of this story is wild
In grade seven, this guy, let’s call him C, asked me out but I didn’t like him so I told him I wasn’t over my ex. In grade 9 C started following me around at school, he even would skip his own classes to sit in mine. He kept asking me to have lunch with him or hang out with him after school or if he would walk me home. I told him I didn’t like him like that, but he would just get mad at me for not giving him a fair chance. So I told another guy that I kind of had a crush on (let’s call him J) about my problem with C.
I asked him to pretend to be my boyfriend so C would back off. He agreed to do so and It worked. J and I soon started dating for real. It was short lived and messy but that’s what high school is like I guess. Also later on when I was in grade 11, C and his then girlfriend set my garden shed on fire. Not sure why, but I’m still a bit upset about that because my family had to pay a lot of money to replace it.
10. Asshole boss to the rescue
We were coming back from a work outing one time at my old job and I had a really bad sinus infection. This guy who was fairly drunk sat next to me on the bus and started hitting on me. I was pretty unresponsive towards him and was just putting up with it, hoping he would go away. I’m normally pretty good about getting guys to leave me alone but I really wasn’t feeling well and he was my workmate’s brother so I just didn’t have it in me to deal with it at the time.
My boss, who could be a total ass, was sitting in front of me and was apparently listening to what was going on because he turned around and said something like “Buddy- she doesn’t want to talk to you. Leave her alone”. And the guy grumbled something back to him but he left me alone. So, along with all the negative stuff I might think about that boss, I’ll always remember that time he was looking out for me.
11. I saved myself
I guess this is a story about how someone didn’t save me, I just got really lucky. At a party my freshman year of college, this guy was following me around and trying to grab me. I told my roommate, who was there with me, about it and she blew it off because she was friends with the guy and said he was a good egg.
I finally was able to lose him after about an hour and managed to avoid him for the rest of the year. A year later, this guy was convicted of raping another girl from our dorm.
12. Friend grabs her outta there!
IDK if sober me is oblivious or what, but I used to seemingly only get hit on while drinking. I was usually pretty good at turning them down, but sometimes they were extra persistent. One time some dude came up and started grinding on me. He wouldn’t piss off no matter what I did so I went up to a friend who pushed me behind him and then just glared the guy down.
Another time I started a friendly conversation with a much much older man about, IDK international politics or something, and he didn’t get it when the conversation was over and I wanted to walk away. He started getting more and more personal and invading my space and just as he was reaching out to grab me, my friend ran up and went “you owe me a drink, let’s go”, grabbed my arm and swiftly pulled me away.
13. Creepy-ass dude on the train
I was 17, and this older guy (maybe 50) started talking to me while waiting for a train. All I wanted to do was read my book, but I was too polite to ignore him.
By the time we get on the train, I realize I made a mistake.
I could smell the beer on him, and he put his arm on me, heavy as a rock, and kept trying to kiss me. Actually he did, on my cheek because I turned away.
He followed me through my transfer, even though I tried to lose him. By this point I am terrified and just waiting to have signal to call my dad.
Well a few different men noticed my distress, started asking if I was okay. But I was scared and didn’t want a scene, I just wanted to call my dad. They were persistent, and finally asked the best question I wouldn’t immediately brush off – “do you know him?” I said no, and so they all grabbed/pushed him off the train, loudly making sure everyone knew not to let him back on.
I wish so much I knew who they were, so I could tell them how much it meant to me. I think that’s why I tell this story whenever I can, in the hopes that maybe my thanks will find them, and that it can encourage other people to protect those who look scared.
I’ve had so many bad experiences with random men, but this is always my reminder that “all men” is a fallacy.
So to you strangers from years ago, I still thank you.
14. Defender of justice!
I attended a concert with a good friend of mine earlier this summer. When it was over, we were making the long trek back to my car and some super drunk creepo grabbed my arm and looked at me in a really unsettling way.
My friend then proceeded to full out scream at this dude, “Don’t touch her!” and pulled me away from him. The drunken asshat mumbled something about it not being a big deal because he was “just fucking around.” She yelled at him again to go away and leave us alone. She was a true defender of justice in my time of need because I get really nervous and choked up in situations like that but she just stepped up like a champ and told him what’s what.
15. “Do you want to have kids?”
I was at the bar with a couple friends. Was sitting at a high table by myself while they went to order drinks. An older guy (probably in his 60s or 70s) came over and started talking to me. It was innocent at first and I didn’t mind, but then he started asking weirder and more intrusive questions: was I religious, did I have a boyfriend, did I have any children. The final straw was me replying that I didn’t have children and him asking if I wanted any.
One of the guys I was with overheard on his way back to the table and flipped out. Told him to fuck off and leave me alone and that asking women questions like that wasn’t appropriate. The old guy got strangely combative and it turned into a real shit show. I was completely useless and just froze. That friend and I don’t speak much anymore but I’ll always be so grateful he did that for me. Such a bizarre experience.
Ooh! Ooh! This is how I met my SO exactly three years ago this week. =D
I was hanging out at my favorite dive bar, sitting down at the end of the bar. On my one side there was this guy named Maurice, who I later learned is notorious in this college town, and has been banned from most of the bars here. He’s in his mid-50s, and he’s missing one of his front teeth, which he calls his “nipple catcher.” He is a black guy and loves to hit on much younger, white women by saying things like he “only dates white women because he likes to see what he’s doing.” He’s mostly harmless, but the bartender was definitely keeping an eye on me while I got stuck having this conversation with Maurice.
Eventually, it gets to the point where the guy sitting on my other side realized I needed some help getting out of the conversation, so he turned and asked me something about whatever he and his buddy were talking about. We ended up talking for the rest of the night, and then he came home with me. We kept hanging out, and now we’ve been together for three years.
About a year and a half ago, we learned that somehow his buddy who had been at the bar with him that night actually ended up sharing a cab with Maurice to get home that night. We have joked multiple times about inviting Maurice to our wedding someday. We should probably at least buy him a drink the next time we see him around.
17. Several creepy situations
For the record, I carry pepperspray and a taser, and I have a rape whistle on my keys lol. But I’ve had several situations where I was helped out of uncomfortable situations.
At a bar in college, creepy guy would not take no for an answer. One of my good friends came up and pretended to be my gf. When the guy insisted there was no way I was into girls, she planted a big french kiss on me, and just continued to make out with me until he walked away.
At a car show an old man pretended to be my dad when some guys tried to recruit me to be a bikini model for their motorcycle shop.
In line at a concession stand a dude was asking very creepy and forward questions, and just kept trying to converse with me after I told him I didn’t feel like talking. The muscly guy behind me just tapped me on the shoulder, gave me a look of shock and said, “Anna! Oh my god how long has it been! How ARE you?! Still dating that football player?” and gave me a hug like we were old friends. Did not know him, but was super grateful.
A cop at a Walgreens walked me to my car when a creepy guy followed me inside and then stalked me around the store asking me questions about my use of a cane, ie how weak am I / am I capable of running. Fucking terrifying.