Thought Catalog

18 Struggles Of Having An Outgoing Personality But Actually Being Shy And Introverted

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This… this is my soul song, people. This is my Vietnam.

1. You’re not anti-social, you’re selectively social.

2. At any given point, you have one (maybe two) best friends who are your entire life. You’re not a “group of friends” person. You can’t keep up with all that.

3. Social gatherings that are supposed to be “rites of passage” like prom and dances and other such typical nonsense is just… not for you. You don’t understand it. You want nothing to do with it.

4. When you do choose to grace a party with your presence, you are the life of it. You’re dancing on the table and doing body shots until 3 a.m.

5. … You then retreat into three days of complete solitude to recover.

6. You go out of your way to avoid people, but when you inevitably have to interact with them, you make it seem like there’s nothing in the world you’d rather be doing.

7. Dating is weird, because you’re smiling and laughing and talkative at dinner, and then you don’t want to answer their texts for four days, because like, you just want to be left alone…

8. You’re accused of being flirty with everybody, which is hilarious, because in reality, you can only tolerate like four people.

9. You retain an air of mysteriousness about you, completely unintentionally. (There’s no mystery. You just feel no need to update the social sphere on what’s going on in your life every two hours.)

10. Not to mention the fact that you either have days in which you’re tweeting and status updating every five minutes… or you delete your accounts for a month.

11. You become unintentionally awkward because you at once feel the need to be a social life jacket for other people, though you’re just as uncomfortable yourself.

12. You’ve never really understood the whole “introvert vs. extrovert” dichotomy (can we call it that?) Because you’re… both…

13. You’re always thrown into the wringer because people think you’re best suited to be the one who gives the presentation, confronts the boss, gives the speech, etc. Meanwhile, you’re practically throwing up over the thought of it.

14. You ebb and flow between wanting to be noticed for your hard work, reveling in the attention and achievement you receive, to sinking and panicking over the thought of somebody else paying more than 30 seconds of attention to you.

15. The entirety of your being is a conundrum, so needless to say, indecisiveness is your Achilles’ Heel.

16. You’re at your happiest in places like coffee shops and cafés: surrounded by people, but still closed off and keeping to yourself.

17. You prefer to travel alone, but meet up with people once you’re there.

18. It’s taken you years to figure out that you’re shy. Literal years. And when you tell people, even your closest family members, that you’re “actually just shy” they pause, and then their eyes go big, and they go: “Oh my god you so are.” TC mark

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18 Struggles Of Having An Outgoing Personality But Actually Being Shy And Introverted is cataloged in , , , , ,
  • nehacelly02

    Reblogged this on Nehacelly and commented:
    this is me i guess :P

  • kfoelizabeth

    Reblogged this on Diagnosis: 20-something and commented:
    As someone who has (what I would consider) an extroverted personality, yet suffers from general and social anxiety, this article really hit home. You can be so many different things at once. You can love being around people and being involved and yet be inhibited by fear and anxiety and the desire to stick to the comfortable. For anyone with a similar personality type, or who deals with anxiety….check this out!

  • Obnoxious Introvert | thoughtsandadventurestoldbytwo

    […] my Twitter feed while I should have been doing something else, I came across this article. And WOW. wow. […]

  • 18 Struggles of Having An Outgoing Personality but Actually Being Shy & Introverted | B r k l y n G i r l

    […] by Brianna Wiest via thoughtcatalog […]

  • Michellehwkim

    Reblogged this on S O N D E R L U S T and commented:
    I never thought that I would find someone that understand me to the very ends of my fiber…

  • 18 Struggles Of Having An Outgoing Personality But Actually Being Shy And Introverted | S O N D E R L U S T

    […] I never thought that I would find someone that understands me to the very ends of my fiber… (original link is here in case the other link doesn’t work:…) […]

  • lovelarisarose

    I’ve taken the Meyers-Briggs test many times and I have always had the same result: I am an INFP. This personality is introverted with extroverted tendencies. This article describes me perfectly. I never thought other people understood how I felt!

    -Larisa Rose

  • laural.

    Reblogged this on Idyllic Nights ☯ and commented:
    Other than 12 and 17.

  • out of touch |
  • Christine Sydney Fong

    Reblogged this on Walking On Eggshells and commented:
    When did I write this? I don’t remember ….

  • lilhoppinpenguin

    Reblogged this on The Lil Hoppin' Penguin Shows the World Her Hops on Rocks and commented:
    If only I understood myself sooner… Thank you for putting my social tendencies into words.

  • headblast

    Reblogged this on Expecto Patronum! and commented:
    Yes. A nod for each point!

  • 18 Struggles Of Having An Outgoing Personality But Actually Being Shy And Introverted | The Little Wordsmith
  • shreyaroy94

    Reblogged this on I rant and commented:
    THIS IS SO ME <3 Loved reading this!

  • Majar Sabio

    Reblogged this on I am… and commented:
    A lot of people think I’m an introvert, but I am not. I am both.

  • Sara_Wildes

    Reblogged this on Chronicles of the Chronically Confused. and commented:
    Essentially the story of my life.

  • chuajingyi

    Reblogged this on Food for the soul and commented:
    Disturbingly accurate.

  • vernessire

    Reblogged this on mehthesire and commented:
    Gosh.. Yes.

  • cjmanagingeditor

    Reblogged this on LRT thoughts ni CJ and commented:
    especially the last.

  • bluejaywayy

    Reblogged this on Stacey Renberg and commented:
    I’d like to thank Brianna Wiest for writing this list. Thank you for articulating what I’ve been trying to do my entire life.

  • Phoebeluong

    Reblogged this on Phoebe's blog and commented:
    it’s just so damn true

  • nguyenmariah

    Reblogged this on Quirky Tea and commented:

  • Outgoing Personality That’s Introverted | Molly Thornberg

    […] 18 Struggles of Having an Outgoing Personality BUT Actually Being Shy & Introverted […]

  • theelaboratenothing

    Reblogged this on The Elaborate Nothing and commented:
    Number 9

  • Little Moon

    Reblogged this on Little Moon Cafe and commented:
    Wow. Just wow.

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