1. Yell “So, Who Else Heard that Hot Tubs Are a Breeding Ground For Infection?”
Mudslides taste so good that we are willing to drink them even though they’re named after a MUDSLIDE.
When I want to get a little naughty, I turn to the naughtiest place of all: MSNBC, weeknights at 9pm.
Be the Annoying Seat Swapper
Your Cat Licking Your Face Immediately After It Eats Gross Food
Weight Watchers likes to say that nothing tastes as good as skinny feels. Which I guess means they’ve never tasted Cinnamon Toast Crunch.
There’s No Such Thing as Too Much Toilet Paper.
A few weeks ago, my acupuncturist told me I had to stop drinking Diet Coke.
Five minutes in and I still haven’t seen Peggy or Joan. Why is there never enough Peggy and Joan?!