No matter your age we all struggle and sometimes that struggle feels like it’ll last forever but it doesn’t. One thing that I always remember for myself is that my pain is inevitable but my staying in suffering is a choice. Let’s talk about the 30 things to remember when it feels the world is crashing around you.
1. I always say this, ITS OKAY NOT TO BE OKAY. Don’t guilt yourself for how you feel, it’s valid. You have no issues accepting yourself in a happy space, the dark spaces are a part of you too. Embrace it little by little (I can discuss how in another post, no worries).
2. Eat, this really just popped in my head. I have a tendency to forget to eat when I’m upset but it only makes things worse. Your body needs fuel and when you neglect that, it only worsens your mental space.
3. Don’t decide for your friends or loved ones that they can’t handle you. There are going to be people you hold dear that don’t understand or can’t provide support but don’t judge everyone because of that one person. People will surprise you and let’s be real you need the support in this time.
4. Don’t isolate. This means avoiding calls, text, and all contact. Inevitably it makes you feel more alone. Let people in.
5. Your family loving you counts, don’t count them out because they’re family. I can remember saying to my mom “you have to love me I’m your child”, but I’ve learned through my Mental Health practice…. that’s not so true.
6. There is something to be grateful for, even if it’s as small as the warmth your covers give you. Try to say one thing a day you’re grateful for it goes a long way.
7. Having a day where you stay in bed and watch your favorite show is okay. It doesn’t mean you are less than, it just means you need a day. Take it.
8. Self-sabotage is real when you’re feeling sad. We as people want to prove ourselves right that we aren’t good enough or that person doesn’t love us. Learn to recognize any self-sabotaging behavior you possess.
9. You’ve got something special to offer the world, I know it sounds corny but in suffering we don’t see ourselves as we truly are. Don’t let this time of suffering take that away from you, instead let it help you grow more into the person you’re meant to be.
10. You’ll find your way back to yourself but understand it’ll take the 3 p’s, patience, persistence, and pain (acceptance of).
11. That heartbreaking thing that person said to you a long time ago or yesterday doesn’t have to be your reality. You decide always who you are, some contribute but you’re the CEO that approves the message.
12. Avoiding pain only makes it come back stronger. The sooner you learn to process pain the sooner you’ll be able to navigate it and let it teach you something.
13. Drinking or using drugs will not make it better. Alcohol is a depressant that should tell you enough and drugs will mask it and act like it’s gone but come knocking on your door at 2am asking where you’ve been. I’m not against a wine night with your friends and crying it out BUT every day no, no, and no.
14. Put your favorite song on and dance it out. Studies suggest moving the body is good for those that suffer from anxiety, depression, etc. LOL I’m such a “studies suggest” person…bear with me.
15. Crying is not for the weak, holding all that in can be damaging let it out.
16. When you feel somewhat ready, identify why you’re suffering.
17. You know it was coming…. seek out therapy. Talking to someone that is non-judgmental can be refreshing.
18. You are stronger than you’re giving yourself credit for.
19. It’s okay to feel wronged and disappointed, we just can’t stay in that space, love…It at times can breed self-loathing and that’s not you.
20. If you have children it’s okay to let them see you be a human. I’m not suggesting breaking things and so on but it’s okay to let them know mommy’s going through a hard time but she’ll be okay. Kids can be the best comforters by just giving you a hug
21. You matter, simple.
22. Getting creative can help to express the pain you’re unable to put in words. Grab a paintbrush or some clay.
23. Someday you’ll look at this period of time in your life and wonder how you got through it AND you’ll be proud of yourself.
24. No one person is worth you staying in suffering unless you deem it so.
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25. You’re in control, don’t forget.
26. There’s a light at the end of the tunnel but you gotta walk towards it; it’s not coming to you.
27. Learning radical acceptance will change your life.
28. Did I mention you matter and you have something to offer the universe? okay cool.
29. I’m rooting for you. Sending positive vibes your way always.
30. CHIN UP!