1. You always use self-deprecating humor. Why make normal jokes when you can just make fun of all the parts of yourself that you hate? If you hate them then so must everyone else, right? Self-deprecating humor is perfect for self-loathing and self-sabotaging, and definitely perfect for easing some tension.
2. You’re always super skeptical. You can never tell if someone is giving you a genuine compliment or if they’re just being a dick so you always just say ‘thanks’ hesitantly and walk away. It’s definitely part of the reason you hate compliments.
3. You turn down dates. You don’t know if they’re really interested in you or if it’s a pity date, or maybe a dare. You also don’t think there’s any way they could really like you because you don’t even like you, so you politely turn them down and go back to your single, but comfortable, life of self-loathing.
4. You post pictures to make your life look better than it is on Instagram. You post pictures of all the ‘cool’ things you’re doing with your life to feel better about how alone you really are. Then you turn around on Twitter and tweet your little heart out about how pathetic you are and how you have no control over your life, but you do it in a way that seems cute so people don’t feel as bad about how terrible your life is. Plus the good Instagram pictures help them not feel so bad about your tweets because your life can’t be that bad, right? I mean, you’re definitely just exaggerating.
5. You always feel rejected. You let thoughts consume you of what other people think about you. Rejection is something everyone faces, but you take it to heart. You feel like you’re constantly being rejected. You imagine the worst and think the worst, without even truly knowing what people are thinking about you. You just assume everyone hates you because you hate yourself.
6. You starve yourself. Because you hate the way you look so you deprive yourself of food just to try to lose those extra few pounds or stop yourself from looking bloated. Plus eating is the one thing you actually have full control over.
7. You punish yourself with hella cardio after eating binge eating shitty food. You are convinced if you do cardio and a lot of it that it will erase all the bad food decisions you just made and that it’s going to help you.
8. You try to hate yourself into someone you love. You can try, I’ve tried, but it doesn’t work. It’s never going to work. You actually have to try to care about yourself in order to start loving yourself.
9. You question how anyone could love you when you don’t love yourself. Like you really question it. It doesn’t make sense in your head how someone could look at what you’re looking at in the mirror and not be completely repulsed by it.
10. You completely break down when you do look in a mirror. You hate what you see, you cry over it and you beat yourself up for eating that cookie when you knew you didn’t need it. It’s an endless battle in your head. You tug and pull at your body, wishing you were someone different. You pull your stomach and see what you would look like if you didn’t have that lower belly pouch or if your arms didn’t giggle that way. You compare yourself to other people. You seemingly forget all your body does for you and you think about all it isn’t instead of all it is.
11. You convince yourself you’re not good enough the way you are. You tell yourself over and over in your head that you’re not good enough the way you are; that just because someone might have done something better than you that you are worthless. You eventually start to believe these lies you repeatedly tell yourself because you’ve never had a reason not to. You can see what other people are doing and you compare that to your own life, making you feel insignificant, even though that’s not true.